- Eric Cartman as James
- Numbuh 2 as Edward
- Stan Marsh as Thomas
- Randy Marsh as Sir Topham Hatt
- George Carlin as US Narrator
- Numbuh 2: Be careful with the busses, Cartman. They don't like being bumped.
- Eric Cartman: I'm a Really Splendid Kid!
- Stan Marsh: Hello Cartman, Feeling better, that's right, Oh That's my bell, I must go. I don't know what my dad would do without me to work for the South Park Elementary School.