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T.V. Medley (Family Guy)/Barney is a parody with T.V. Medley music for Track 9 on this album and Barney and Friends sounds.

Cast

Lyrics

Jason: ♪Now the world don't move♪


♪To the beat of just one drum.♪
♪What might be right for you.
♪May not be right for some.♪

Kenneth: ♪A man is born,♪


♪He's a man of means.♪
♪Then along come two.♪
♪They've got nothing but their jeans.♪

Jason: But Kenneth, ♪They've got Different Strokes♪


♪It takes Different Strokes♪
♪It takes Different Strokes to move the world.♪

Kenneth: That's true, but you know, Jason,


♪Everybody's got a special kind of story♪

Jason: ♪Everybody finds a way to shine.♪

Kenneth: ♪But no matter that you got not a lot.♪

Jason: So what?

Kenneth: ♪They'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.♪

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪And together we'll be fine.♪

Jason: ♪'Cause it takes Different Strokes to move the world.♪

Kenneth: Yes it does.

Jason: ♪It takes Different Strokes to move the world.♪

{Applause}

Jason: Hey, hey, why the frown, Kenneth?

Kenneth: Ah, I finished my drink.

Jason: Oh, no.

Kenneth: Yeah it's empty, that always gets me depressed.

Jason: Oh come on, Kenneth, why don't you


♪Show me that smile again♪

Kenneth: Oh, I don't know.

Jason: ♪Don't waste another minute on your crying.♪

Kenneth: Mmm...

Jason: ♪We're nowhere near the end.♪

Kenneth: That sucks.

Jason: ♪The best is ready to begin.♪ Ooo-ooo-ooo-oooh!

Kenneth: ♪As long as we got each other♪

Jason: Right you are.

Kenneth: ♪We got the world spinning right in our hands.♪


♪Baby you and me♪

Jason: We've got to be...

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'.♪


♪As long as we keep on giving.♪

Jason: We can take any crap that comes our way.

Kenneth: ♪Baby rain or shine♪

Jason ♪All the time♪

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪We got each other♪


♪Sharin' the laughter♪
♪And love.♪

{Applause}

Jason: I say, Kenneth.

Kenneth: Huh?

Jason: Who's that over there?

Kenneth: Where?

Jason: There!

Kenneth: Why Jason, that's


♪The new boy in the neighborhood♪
♪Lives downstairs and it's-♪

Jason: I know it's understood. ♪He's there just to take good care of me♪


♪Like he's one of the family.♪

Kenneth: ♪Charles in Charge of our days and our nights.♪

Jason: Yes indeed it's


♪Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights.♪

Kenneth: I have a feeling the wrongs are gonna cause more trouble than the rights.

Jason: Look out, Sitcom Land - there's a new shipment of funny on it's way!

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪And I say I want Charles in Charge of me.♪

{Applause}

Jason: You know, I'm gonna take things down a notch here. Kenneth  do you remember when we did our first musical number from "Road to Rhode Island"?

Kenneth: I sure do. God, we were so young then.

Jason: Yes, I mean not that we've aged all that much. I mean Jesus, I've been one year old for five years. And my point is this:


♪Here we are, face to face♪
♪A couple of Silver Spoons♪

Kenneth: ♪We're hoping to find♪


♪We're two of a kind♪
♪Makin' it go, making it grow together♪
♪We're gonna find our way.♪

Jason: ♪You and I together♪


♪Taking the time each day.♪

Kenneth: You know Jason, that's time well spent.


♪To learn all about those things you just can't buy.♪

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Two Silver Spoons together.♪

Kenneth: ♪Together, we're gonna find our way.♪


♪Together, we're gonna find our way.♪

Kenneth' and 'Jason: ♪You and I together.♪

{Applause}

Jason: Oh, you know, this is fun. I say we do a few more of these.

KennethYou say? Hey now, who's the boss around here?

JasonWho's the Boss, indeed.

Kenneth: Good segue.


♪There's a time for love and a time for living.♪
♪So take a chance and face the wind.♪

Jason: ♪An open road and a road that's hidden.♪


♪A brand new life around the bend.♪

Kenneth: ♪There were times♪

Jason: Oh yeah.

Kenneth: ♪I've lost a dream or two.♪


♪Found the trail♪

Jason: Sing it, you f***.

Kenneth: ♪And at the end was you.♪


♪There's a path you take and a path not taken.♪
♪The choice is up to you, my friend.♪
♪The nights are long♪

Jason: Ah, ♪but you might awaken to a brand new life.♪

Kenneth: ♪Brand new life.♪

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Brand new life around the bend.♪

{Applause}

Jason: Gosh, you know, we sound so bloody good together.

Kenneth: Well, that's because we know each other so well.

Jason: Oh, I suppose you're right. Good lord, just think how atrocious we'd sound if we were "Perfect Strangers."

Kenneth: ♪Sometimes the world looks perfect.♪


♪Nothing to rearrange.♪

Jason: ♪Sometimes you just get a feeling♪


♪Like you need some kind of change♪

Kenneth: ♪No matter what the odds are this time,♪


♪Nothing's gonna stand in my way.♪

Jason: ♪This flame in my heart and a long lost friend♪

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Gives every dark street a light to the end♪


♪Standing tall♪

Kenneth: ♪On the wings of my dreams.♪

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪Rise and fall♪

Jason: ♪On the wings on my dreams.♪

Kenneth: ♪Through rain and thunder and hail and haze♪


♪I'm bound for better days.♪

Jason: Ahh.

Kenneth: ♪It's my life and my dream.♪

Jason: ♪Nothing's gonna stop me now.♪

{Applause}

Jason: I say, was I alright on that last note?

Kenneth{Balki impersonation} Well of course you were, don't be ridiculous. {speaking normally} You know Jason, I sometimes think about what it'll be like when we're old and gray.

Jason: Hm, well for you that'll be in about five years.

Kenneth: Thank you for reminding me. But you know, even if my hair falls out or I lose my teeth or I'm in constant pain because colon blockage has made me unable to evacuate my bowels-

Jason: I-I-I get it, I get it, go on.

Kenneth: Well when I'm in my golden years, I'll always look back on our association with fondness. I guess what I'm trying to say is


♪Thank you for being a friend.♪

Jason: Don't mention it.

Kenneth: ♪Traveled down the road and back again.♪


♪Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante.♪

Jason: Kenneth, I appreciate that.


♪And if you threw a party♪
♪And invited everyone you knew♪
♪You would see the biggest gift would be from me.♪
And if the box is ticking, it's probably just a clock.
♪And the card attached would say♪

Kenneth' and 'Jason: ♪Thank you for being a friend.♪

{Applause}

Jason: You know why we're so close, Kenneth?

Kenneth: Why's that?

Jason: Family Ties.

Kenneth: ♪I bet we've been together♪


♪For a million years.♪

Jason: ♪And I bet we'll be together♪


♪For a million more.♪

Kenneth: ♪Ooh, it's like I started breathing♪


♪On the night we♪ uh, shook hands.

Jason: Shook hands, right.

'Kenneth and 'Jason: ♪And I can't remember what I ever did before.♪


♪What would we do baby, without us?♪
♪What would we do baby, without us?♪

'Kenneth': ♪And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.♪

''''Kenneth' and 'Jason: ♪What would we do baby, without us?♪


♪Sha-la-la-la♪

{Applause}

Man in audience: I love you, Jason!

Jason: Good.

Min: Ew, Mom, look at Chris.

Tosha: What is it, honey?

Min: He's sweating like a pig!

BJ: Shut up, Meg, it's hot in here!

Tosha: Meg, your brother's going through a very normal stage in the life of a teenage boy. His body's changing and sometimes it does some very strange things.

BJ: Mom, make it stop!

Tosha: Chris, honey, there's nothing Mommy can do except smile and shake her head like the mommies in the Sunny Delight commercials.

BJ: Oh no, I'm screwed!

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