• Johnny Kassir as Mr. Conductor (Ringo Starr)
  • Andrew Hill Newman as Mr. Conductor (George Carlin)
  • Nancy Sullivan as Stacy Jones
  • Dan Sachoff as Schemer
  • Josh as Matt
  • Raquel Lee as Tanya
  • Drake as Dan
  • Amanda as Becky
  • Jenna as Kara
  • The Bailiff (from Judge Trudy) as Harry Cupper
  • Barney the Security Guard as Billy Twofeathers
  • J.B. King as himself
  • Buster as himself
  • Mr. Oldman as Mr. Conductor's Evil Twin

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