Transcript for The Cat House Short Slice of Life


(we open on a scene from one of Oliver's manga comics. two dogs are having a confrontation, and they "speak" in Oliver's voice)

Dog #1: If we cannot decide who gets the triangle of power, then we must...

Dog #2: BATTLE!!!

(the two dogs power up and leap toward a pizza-shaped artifact and shout "YAAAHHHHHHH!!" as the caption is spelled out)

(cut to Oliver on his bed reading a manga comic)

Oliver: Ah, nothing like a little manga-reading before dinner.

Duchess: (offscreen) KIDS! PIZZA'S HERE!

(cut to an exterior view of the house, a pizza delivery truck with a sign that says "DELIVERY IN 30 MINUTES OR ELSE" is seen driving away)

(cut to Oliver walking down the stairway)

Oliver: In a cat family this big...

(Oliver moves to the side of the stairway to avoid his sisters stampeding down, Chi then comes sliding down the banister)

Penelope, Mimi, Susu, Marie, Sagwa, Mela, Doom Kitty, AND Lulu: PIZZA!!!


Oliver: ...getting seconds is rare. (runs down)

(cut to a pizza box getting set down on the dining room table)

Oliver: Especially when it comes to pizza.

(Oliver opens the box to reveal a pizza pie. He and his sisters reach in and take out a slice each, leaving only one remaining)

Oliver: With twelve slices and eleven cat siblings, there's always one slice left. Who gets the last slice? Well, that's always the problem. Let me tell you about... Oliver's ABCs to Getting the Last Slice". (the title appears as he speaks it) First, "A"; we argue.

Penelope: I'm the oldest, so I should get it!

Marie: No way! Beauty before age!

Chi: Oh, then I guess I should get it.

Mela: You don't need it! You'll just eat your boogers instead!

Chi: Hmm, true.

Lulu: This is bad news anyway you slice it. (laughs) "Get it?

Pussyfoot: (blows a raspberry in response to Lulu's joke)

Doom Kitty: I know. I'll just contact the spirits and have them decide.

Susu: Dude, dinner's kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.

Sagwa: Perhaps I can use my calipers to equally measure us all a piece.

Mimi: Who needs caterpillars? All we have to do is split it evenly 40/40.

(the sisters are still arguing in the background with various speech balloons indicating random objects as if they are cursing)

Oliver: Arguing never works. So if we can't decide who gets the last slice, it brings us to "B"; we must...(in his imagination, Lincoln spins around and is enveloped in shiny rays of light, the light breaks away to reveal Lincoln in an anime-esque form) ...BATTLE!"

(images of fantastic anime versions of the Cat sisters appear, they shout as they circle the pizza slice and jump for it)

(cut to the exterior view of the house)

Thomas O Malley: (offscreen) KIDS! There's no need to fight!

(cut back to the dining room, the cats, in reality, are piled on top of each other from their fight. Thomas O Malley shows them a second pizza box and opens it)

Duchess: (offscreen) We got a second pizza for free!

Oliver: Of course we always forget about "C"; coupons.

(the cats zip out of the scene, causing the one slice to drop to the floor, and go to enjoy their second pizza. Pua walks in, sniffs the slice and prepares to eat it, but is met with glares from Meeko, Pascal, and Hei Hei. In imagination, like before, the pets assume fantastic anime forms and leap toward the slice)

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