[Open up to a photo of a boy brown raccoon and ten other animals who are his siblings around him; all except one of them are smiling]
Rick: [to the viewers] "Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a big family of animals? Well, don't let the picture fool you! It's not all sugar and spice. Don't believe me?" [opens door]
[Outside his room, there is much chaos going on caused by his siblings and pets; such as a female brown bear cub playing with pots and pans, a male gray porcupine reading a poem, an orange female Bubble Dragon dressed up like Super Drunk (from Bubble Bobble) chasing a female pink Bubble Dragon wearing a purple bow on her head who is screaming in terror, a female magenta otter with indigo hair playing Football in the house, a female blue emu angrily chasing a male brown, grinning beaver through the halls, a male white dog playing on a guitar, and male brown feral dog chasing a male black feral cat]
Rick: "Welcome to...the Critter House."
[The title "The Critter House" appears]
Rick: [closes door and stretches a little] "Surviving in a big animal family can be challenging. Even the little things. Like getting a turn in the bathroom. Which is why I give you...'Rick Raccoon's Three P's to go Poo and Pee'. You're gonna need Patience, Perseverance, and most importantly, Problem Solving. With these three steps, you'll get into the bathroom every time." [starts straining] "Which is important. Especially if you wait until the very last second to go!" [busts out comic book] "Into the breach!" [Heads out the door]
Rick: "Hollywood Dog? A little traveling music?"
Hollywood Dog: "You got it, bro. ONE, TWO, THREE!" [starts jamming on his guitar called Loretta and fulfills his brother's request]
[Rick begins his journey down the hallway to the bathroom]
Stuckey: "Hey, Rick, you wanna hear my poem?"
Rick: "I do, but I have a pressing engagement."
[His funny beaver brother Bingo stops him in his tracks]
Bingo: ""Rick! Smell my new flower!" [squirts water from flower, but Rick ducks just in the nick of time]
Rick: "Ha! Did you really think I'd fall for-"
Bingo: [suddenly squirts water from a flower on the red patch on his blue overalls right into Rick's mouth] "It's not easy being this good." [laughs]
Jelly: "Clear the track!"
[Rick does a spit take and gets out of the way for Jelly]
Jelly: "Comin' through!" [plays a bizarre sport involving wearing a football helmet, riding a motorbike, and hitting a tennis ball with a hockey stick; crashes into wall] "SCORE!!!"
[Rick tries to continue but is stopped by his little sister Cororon]
Cororon: "Hold it, Rick. Play 'Fashion Photographer' with me!"
Rick: "I would Cororon, but I really have to-"
Cororon: "YOU PLAY, OR I'LL TELL MOM YOU WERE READING COMICS ON THE ROOF WITHOUT YOUR SHIRT ON AGAIN!"
Rick: [makes a side glance to the viewers and then starts taking photos of Cororon as she poses for the camera] "Work the camera! Uh-huh! That's it! Show me what you got!"
Blossom: [walking in the background] "Poo-poo!"
Rick: "Who's a beauty queen?"
[enter Cororon's twin Kululun carrying a pile of mud in her paws]
Cororon: "Hey! I'm working here!"
Kululun: "Check out my mud pie! It's nice and squishy!" [squishes it and smears it all over Cororon's face]
Rick: [with too much pressure] "GOTTA GO!" [continues]
Stuckey: [out of nowhere] "Now?"
Rick: "Still pressing!" [leaps over his little mouse brother Chewy who is writing a mathematical formula on the wall] "Don't forget to carry the 1!"[he stares at him]
[Pause continues chasing Figaro, with a yellow bird Baldwin flying after them]
Victoria: [trying to use the vacuum cleaner] "Does anyone know how to turn on this sucky thingy?" [turns it on but also vacuums up Rick's shirt leaving him naked now] "Got it!"
[Rick is almost in the bathroom, but his oldest sister Hoppopotamus, a fat blue hippo-rabbit hybrid, cuts in front of him and refuses to let him in]
Hoppopotamus: "Beat it, twerp."
Rick: "Come on, Hoppo! No fair! I was here first!"
[Paws still chases Figaro with Baldwin flying after them, with a cream hamster named Peepi following them in his ball]
Hoppopotamus: "Well, I was born first!" [shuts herself in the bathroom]
[As Rick has to endure the pressure even longer, Stuckey walks over]
Stuckey: "It looks like you have time now." [commences poem] "My love is like water. Bursting forth. Like a dam breaking. All control lost. Water rushing, churning, turning landscape to mud. Time runs out. Water. I feel the impending doom. My love."
[While he recites his poem, every word from it causes Rick to feel even more pressure and have to go even worse than before; suddenly, Blossom walks by with a full diaper and the stink nauseates Rick]
Rick: "Ugh! COULD CLEAR A ROOM!" [gets an idea] "Could clear a room! Time to put the third P: Problem Solving into action."
[In the bathroom, Hoppopotamus is applying makeup until she hears Rick opening the door]
Hoppopotamus: [irked] "I said I was-" [suddenly sees something horrifying and gasps] "What are you doing with that?"
[The door closes and whatever is occurring cannot be seen, but it only causes Hoppopotamus to panic]
Hoppopotamus: [terrified] "Rick, I'm warning you! Keep that thing away from me! Rick! RICK!" [opens the door and runs out in horror] "AAAAHHHH!!!"
[Rick comes out wearing the vacuum's nozzle like a gas mask and Jelly's football helmet for protection; his other siblings look on in bewilderment and Rick reveals that he held Blossom's dirty diaper by Jelly's hockey stick as a way to chase Hoppopotamus out of the bathroom]
Victoria, Hollywood Dog, Bingo, Jelly, Cororon, Kululun, and Chewy: [elated] "YAY!!!"
Stuckey: [nonchalantly] "Yay..."
[Blossom scurries across the hall now without a diaper; Rick then tosses his literal baby sister's soiled padding into the trash]
Rick: [wrapping up] "Like I said, surviving in a big animal family can be challenging. But it's not impossible. Now, if you'll excuse me...PRESSING ENGAGEMENT!" [closes door to finally use the toilet] "OH, YEAH! OH, SWEET RELIEF! WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!!! [notices something] "Hey! Where did the green cloth go? Guys! There's no green cloth! Someone! Can someone bring it back?!"
[Unfortunately for him, his siblings are causing too much of a ruckus in the hall to hear his pleas]
Rick: "CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?! ANYONE! PLEASE!!! HELP!!!"
["The Critter House" title appears one more time]