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The Diseasel Transcript is Pikachufreak's idea.

Description

  • Here's the full transcript to The Diseasel.

Characters

  • Edward
  • Bill and Ben
  • BoCo

Transcript

  • George Carlin: Bill and Ben are tank engine twins. Each has four wheels, a tiny chimney and dome and a small squat cab. Their freight cars are filled with China Clay. It is needed for pottery, paper, paint and many other things. The twins are now kept busy pushing and pulling the cars for engines on the main line and for ships in the harbor. One morning, they arranged some cars and went away for more.
  • (The Freight cars disappeared)
  • George Carlin: They returned to find them all gone. The Twins were most surprised. Their drivers examined a patch of oil.
  • Drivers: That's Diesel.
  • George Carlin: They said.
  • Bill: It's a what'll?
  • George Carlin: Asked Bill?
  • Ben: A diseasel, I think.
  • George Carlin: Replied Ben.
  • Ben: There's a notice about them in our shed.
  • Bill: Coughs and sneezles spread diseaels.
  • Ben: You had a cough in your smokebox yesterday. It's your fault the diseasel came.
  • Bill: It isn't!
  • Ben: It is!
  • Drivers: Stop arguing, you two.
  • George Carlin: Laughed their drivers.
  • Drivers: Let's go and rescue our freight cars.
  • George Carlin: Bill and Ben were horrified.
  • Bill: But the diseasel will magic us away like the freight cars.
  • Drivers: He won't magic us.
  • George Carlin: Replied their drivers.
  • Drivers: We're more likely magic him. Listen, he doesn't know you're twins. So we'll take away your names and numbers and then this is what we'll do.
  • George Carlin: Puffing hard, the twins set off on their journey to find the diesel. They were looking forward to playing tricks on him. Creeping into the yard, they found the diesel on a siding with missing cars. Ben hid behind, but Bill went bodily alongside.
  • (Bill passes the freight cars and stops next to BoCo)
  • George Carlin: The diesel looked up.
  • BoCo: Do you mind?
  • Bill: Yes.
  • George Carlin: Said Bill.
  • Bill: I do. I want my cars back.
  • BoCo: These are mine.
  • George Carlin: Said the diesel.
  • BoCo: Go away.
  • George Carlin: Bill pretended not to be frightened.
  • Bill: You're a big bully.
  • George Carlin: He whimpered.
  • Bill: You'll be sorry.
  • George Carlin: He ran back and hid behind the cars on the other side. Ben now came forward.
  • Ben: Car stealer!
  • George Carlin: Hissed Ben. He ran away too. Bill took his place.
  • (Bill and Ben begin to taunt BoCo several times)
  • George Carlin: This went on and on till the diesel eyes nearly popped out.
  • BoCo: Stop! You're making me giddy.
  • George Carlin: The two engines gazed at him.
  • BoCo: Are there two of you?
  • Bill: Yes, we're twins.
  • BoCo: I might have known it.
  • George Carlin: Just then, Edward bustled up.
  • Edward: Bill and Ben, why are you playing here?
  • Bill: We're not playing.
  • George Carlin: Protested Bill.
  • Ben: We're rescuing our cars.
  • George Carlin: Squeaked Ben.
  • Ben: Even you don't take our cars without asking, but this diseasel did.
  • Edward: There's no cause to be rude.
  • George Carlin: Said Edward severly.
  • Edward: This engine is a Metropolitan Vickers, diesel electric type 2.
  • George Carlin: The twins were most impressed.
  • Bill: We're sorry, mister...er...
  • BoCo: Never mind.
  • George Carlin: The diesel smiled.
  • BoCo: Call me BoCo. I'm sorry I didn't understand about the cars.
  • Edward: That's all right then.
  • George Carlin: Said Edward.
  • Edward: Now off you go, Bill and Ben. Fetch BoCo's cars, then you take this lot. There's no real harm in them.
  • George Carlin: He said to BoCo.
  • Edward: But they're mattening at times.
  • George Carlin: BoCo chuckled.
  • BoCo: Mattening...
  • George Carlin: He said.
  • BoCo: ...is the word.

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