The transcript of The Muppet MovieThe Great Muppet Caper trailer.

Version #1 (Jim Henson Video 1993)

Narrator: Now Available from Jim Henson Video.

Gonzo: Smile.

Narrator: A spectacular motion-picture event.

Miss Piggy: I shall accept nothing less.

Narrator: The one movie that's got it all. The Great Muppet Movie.

Kermit the Frog: Let's go for it.

(Together) Yeah!

Narrator: It's the story of a daring jewel heist. The target: Diana Rigg as wealthy Lady Holiday.

Lady Holiday: I feel as if thieves were breathing down my neck.

Nicky Holiday: Thieves aren't breathing down your neck.

Narrator: The culprit: Charles Grodin as her dastaroly brother.

Kermit the Frog: Why are you doing this?

Nicky Holiday: Because I'm a villian.

Narrator: And the prime suspect:

Gonzo: I think I've got a picture of the thief!

Narrator: A beautiful young pig.

Lady Holiday: Miss Piggy stole my necklace!

Narrator: And now it's up to Kermit the Frog...

Kermit the Frog: We're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission.

(Together) Whoa!

Narrator: Fozzie Bear...

Fozzie Bear: We don't want the bad guys to win.

Narrator: The Great Gonzo...

Gonzo: I heard them planning to steal the Baseball Diamond.

Narrator: And a heroic band of party animals...

Kermit the Frog: We're gonna have to catch those thieves red-handed.

Beauregard: What color are their hands now?

Narrator: To save the day.

Kermit the Frog: There could be physical violence...

Miss Piggy: Aaaah!

Kermit the Frog: There could be gunplay...

Nicky Holiday: All right. Back off!

Kermit the Frog: And there's a slightest chance that somebody might even get killed.

Floyd Pepper: I'm out.

Pops: Uh, I got a dental appointment.

Narrator: It's muppet action and adventure like you've never seen before.

Lady Holiday: It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?

Narrator: All wrapped up in the wildest muppet motion picture ever.

Miss Piggy: Well, you wanted excitement.

Narrator: Now you can own "The Great Muppet Caper" on videocassette.

Miss Piggy: Need I say more?

Version #2 (Columbia TriStar 1999)

Gonzo: Stop the presses!

Narrator: Jim Henson Home Entertainment presents...

Kermit the Frog: There'll be spectacle, There'll be fantasy.

Narrator: It's the movie was something for everybody.

Kermit the Frog: Aah!

Narrator: Adventure...

Kermit the Frog: We're just gonna have to go down there and catch those thieves red-handed.

Beauregard: What colour are their hands now?

Narrator: Romance...

Nicky Holiday: He's a frog, isn't he?

Miss Piggy: Yes.

Narrator: Danger...

(All screaming)

Narrator: And champagne.

Fozzie Bear: If you put enough sugar in this stuff it tastes just like ginger ale.

Narrator: Join those magnificent muppets, In a who done, that does it all.

Miss Piggy: You wanted excitement.

Narrator: Jim Henson's The Great Mupper Caper.

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