The transcript of The Muppet MovieThe Great Muppet Caper trailer.
Version #1 (Jim Henson Video 1993)
Narrator: Now Available from Jim Henson Video.
Narrator: A spectacular motion-picture event.
Miss Piggy: I shall accept nothing less.
Narrator: The one movie that's got it all. The Great Muppet Movie.
Kermit the Frog: Let's go for it.
Narrator: It's the story of a daring jewel heist. The target: Diana Rigg as wealthy Lady Holiday.
Lady Holiday: I feel as if thieves were breathing down my neck.
Nicky Holiday: Thieves aren't breathing down your neck.
Narrator: The culprit: Charles Grodin as her dastaroly brother.
Kermit the Frog: Why are you doing this?
Nicky Holiday: Because I'm a villian.
Narrator: And the prime suspect:
Gonzo: I think I've got a picture of the thief!
Narrator: A beautiful young pig.
Lady Holiday: Miss Piggy stole my necklace!
Narrator: And now it's up to Kermit the Frog...
Kermit the Frog: We're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission.
Narrator: Fozzie Bear...
Fozzie Bear: We don't want the bad guys to win.
Narrator: The Great Gonzo...
Gonzo: I heard them planning to steal the Baseball Diamond.
Narrator: And a heroic band of party animals...
Kermit the Frog: We're gonna have to catch those thieves red-handed.
Beauregard: What color are their hands now?
Narrator: To save the day.
Kermit the Frog: There could be physical violence...
Miss Piggy: Aaaah!
Kermit the Frog: There could be gunplay...
Nicky Holiday: All right. Back off!
Kermit the Frog: And there's a slightest chance that somebody might even get killed.
Floyd Pepper: I'm out.
Pops: Uh, I got a dental appointment.
Narrator: It's muppet action and adventure like you've never seen before.
Lady Holiday: It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?
Narrator: All wrapped up in the wildest muppet motion picture ever.
Miss Piggy: Well, you wanted excitement.
Narrator: Now you can own "The Great Muppet Caper" on videocassette.
Miss Piggy: Need I say more?
Version #2 (Columbia TriStar 1999)
Gonzo: Stop the presses!
Narrator: Jim Henson Home Entertainment presents...
Kermit the Frog: There'll be spectacle, There'll be fantasy.
Narrator: It's the movie was something for everybody.
Kermit the Frog: Aah!
Kermit the Frog: We're just gonna have to go down there and catch those thieves red-handed.
Beauregard: What colour are their hands now?
Nicky Holiday: He's a frog, isn't he?
Miss Piggy: Yes.
Narrator: And champagne.
Fozzie Bear: If you put enough sugar in this stuff it tastes just like ginger ale.
Narrator: Join those magnificent muppets, In a who done, that does it all.
Miss Piggy: You wanted excitement.
Narrator: Jim Henson's The Great Mupper Caper.