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  • Lex Luthor: In this box are two Things. I will show them to you.
  • Brainiac: Two Things, and I call them Assassian and Lobo.
  • Darksied: These Things will not bite you. They want to have fun.
  • Metallo: So without furthur ado,
  • meet Lobo and Assassian!
  • Things: Ta-da!
  • Livewire: Oh, yeah!
  • Toyman: Assassian, Joker, Harley Quinn. Joker, Harley Quinn, Assassian.
  • Lobo, Joker, Harley Quinn. Joker, Harley Quinn, Lobo.
  • Assassian, Lobo. Lobo, Assassian. Joker, Harley Quinn. Harley Quinn, Joker.
  • Lex Luthor: I am Lex Luthor.
  • Lobo: Don't be little me.
  • Assassian: Ah, yes, of course.
  • Doomsday: Lobo would like to clairfy that just because he wears the number two...
  • does not imply in any way that he's inferior to Assassian.
  • Lobo: And all of the above.
  • Bizarro: He says you may feel free to call him Thing "A," If you like.
  • He will also accept Super Thing, Thing King, Kid Dynamite,
  • Chocolate Thun-Da... or Ben.
  • Lobo: Ben!
  • Parasite: Assassian says he's Assassian for a reason,
  • and some people should get used to it.
  • Silver Banshee: It's a Thing thing. You wouldn't understand.
  • Mxyptlk: Okay, enough!
  • Kryptonite Man: You are quickly turning into one of my least favorite Things.
  • Zod: Listen, Joker, you probably don't wanna do that.
  • Joker: Why not? It's just a crate.
  • Ursa: This isn't just any old crate.
  • It's the Trans-dimensional Transportolator.
  • Mongul: It's kinda like a doorway which leads from this world to my world.
  • Joker: But it says, "Made in the Philippines."
  • Non: Yes, but not this Philippines.
  • Maxima: Look, now, I'm not usually a rules guy, but this is a biggie.
  • Atomic Skull: No opening the crate.
  • Cyborg-Superman/Hank Henshaw: No lookee, no touchee. Got it?
  • Lobo: Mekka-dekka we should settle our differences.
  • Lex Luthor: Things, front and center!
  • Joker: Cool.
  • Lex Luthor: All right, Things, I'm not paying you to stand around and look pretty.
  • Here's Mom's dress.
  • Harley Quinn: Oh! Mommy's dress!
  • Joker: What about the couch?
  • Lex Luthor: Which couch?
  • The clean one, or the horribly stained one?
  • Ho!
  • Assassian: Mekka-dekka don't worry!
  • Lex Luthor: Incoming!
  • Harley Quinn: Lex, they're wrecking the whole house!
  • Joker, help!
  • Joker: Help yourself!
  • Assassian: Look at me! Come and get it!
  • Lobo: Whoa! Ooh, yeah! Whoa!
  • Crab Lock: That tickles!
  • Geronimo!
  • Mine, mine, mine! Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!
  • Things: Ride 'em, cowboy! Yee-hee-hee! Ho-ho-ho! Whee!
  • Mrs. Kwan: If this were my house, I'd be furious.
  • Delightful Children: Hey! Joker!
  • Magical time-traveling elves: Do you have any idea what happened to the lock on this crate?
  • Joker: It's on Killer Croc's collar.
  • Harley Quinn: Killer Croc?
  • Scarecrow: Man-Bat?
  • Poison Ivy: Man-Bat!
  • Mr. Freeze: Put the dog down!
  • Bane: I said, put the dog down!
  • Harley Quinn: Why won't they listen to me?
  • Riddler: Oh. I don't know if this helps, but the Things always do the opposite of what you say.
  • Joker: Why do they always do the opposite? That's so annoying!
  • Harley Quinn: Remind you of anyone, Joker?
  • Things: Zinga!
  • Zinga! Zinga!
  • Blue! 41! Set! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
  • Harley Quinn: Hey, Thing, don't let go of that dog!
  • Assassian: Let go!
  • Joker: Catch them... I mean, don't catch them!
  • Harley Quinn: Well, this is just great, Joker.
  • The whole house is destroyed, the party is ruined, and now Killer Croc and Man-Bat are gone.
  • Riddler: Harley Quinn, Joker,
  • that's nothing compared to what's gonna happen if we don't lock this crate.
  • Scarecrow: Take a look.
  • Poison Ivy: It's already leaking.
  • Joker: It won't stay shut.
  • Penguin: Not without the lock.
  • Two-Face: Look, if we don't get that lock off of Killer Croc and Man-Bat put it back on this crate,
  • we're gonna be staring down the business end of the mother of all the messes.
  • Joker: We've gotta go out and find Killer Croc and Man-Bat.
  • Ra's Al Ghul: Impossible! Harley Quinn!
  • Max Shreck: There's only four hours till the party.
  • Harley Quinn: Brainiac is right. We should call Mom and tell her what happened.
  • Joker: Look at this house! There's no way we could explain this to Mom.
  • We gotta get Killer Croc and Man-Bat back and lock this crate!
  • Harley Quinn: We're staying and calling Mom.
  • Joker: We're going and getting the dog.
  • Catwoman: There is a third option.
  • Joker and Harley Quinn: There is?
  • Mr. Freeze: Yes. It involves...
  • murder!
  • Joker: That's your option?
  • Bane: No.
  • Clayface: But you guys both had options. I just wanted to have one too.
  • Mad Hatter: Or did I?
  • Harley Quinn: Lex, you're not helping!
  • Joker: Come on. Let's go get that dog.
  • Now, we just need a heavy, inanimate object to weigh down this crate.
  • Delightful Children: There. That oughta buy us some time.
  • Hugo Strange: Come on, kids! Let's go, go, go!

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