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  • Joan: You are so lucky you didn't ruin this dress.
  • Alan: Mom, I know you're angry,
  • but there's something you need to know.
  • Ginny: This was all Harley Quinn's fault. Oh, really?
  • And how, exactly, was it Harley Quinn's fault?
  • Joan: Give me a minute. I'm workin' on it.
  • Save it, Alan.
  • Alan: Why today? Why did you have to pick today to destroy the house?
  • Joan: You know what's happening today.
  • Alan: I tried to tell him, Mom.
  • Joan: "Mom's throwing a very important party," I said.
  • "All other important clients will be here."
  • Ginny: But they went right ahead and wrecked the house and let Killer Croc and Man-Bat away.
  • Now, again, I hope you're going to ground them.
  • Joan: Yes, Ginny, for a week, but that's none of your business
  • Ginny: A week? Come on. Two days.
  • Joan: I asked you to do one thing today, Alan...
  • keep the house clean.
  • Do you know how frustrating it is that you're always doing the exact opposite of what I say?
  • Ramsley: Knock, knock, knock.
  • Someone lose a dog?
  • I found them next door...
  • in my yard... again.
  • Hugo Strange: You are a saint.
  • Ramsley: And here I thought you were only dating me for my good looks.
  • Bash Street Kids: Lucky us. Ramsley is here.
  • Ramsley: Hey, a sport. Call me Ramsley. Okay?
  • Ginny: You rescued Killer Croc and Man-Bat! Thanks, Ramsley!
  • Hugo Strange: I was my pleasure, Harley Quinn.
  • Ramsley: Anything for my little princess.
  • Harley Quinn: Oh, I don't wanna be a princess.
  • Riddler: In a constitutional monarchy parliament has all the real power.
  • Scarecrow: I see. Okay, that's great.
  • Poison Ivy: Uh, look, pal, be a sport.
  • Penguin: Why don't you go tidy up the living room. Okay... dude?
  • Two-Face: I don't have to listen to you, Ramsley.
  • Alan: Joker, do what Ramsley says.
  • Joker: Have you given some thought about the Wilhelm Academy?
  • Joan: You mean the Colonel Wilhelm Military Academy for Troubled Youth?
  • Ramsley: That's the one, Joan.
  • Joan: I'm not sure it's right for Joker.
  • Alan: Oh, Joan, Joan.
  • Ginny: Joan, Joan, Joan.
  • Ramsley: I have so much respect for you, Joan.
  • Single mother, career woman, raising two children on your own,
  • and still finding time to be the best darned real estate agent in town.
  • I know how hard it is, Joan.
  • Joan: It is hard.
  • Ramsley: Oh... I know.
  • And I know how hard you're trying.
  • Joan: This is a once-in-a-lifetime proposition, and you must act now.
  • Ramsley: The Colonel Wilhelm Military Academy for Troubled Youth...
  • is what we call in the sales game a win-win scenario.
  • A top-flight military school, and it's only... eight hours away.
  • Joan: Oh, the phone.
  • Hugo Strange: I heard what you said.
  • Harley Quinn: I'm not going to military school, Ramsley.
  • Ramsley: Look, buddy,
  • I know I'm not your dad...
  • and this is probaly really strange for you...
  • your neighbor's dating your mom.
  • But here's the thing, son. Come here.
  • Hugo Strange: I don't like you either.
  • Ramsley: But I'm gonna marry your mom.
  • Hugo Strange: And if it was up to me, you'd be at military school today.
  • Harley Quinn: I'm not going to military school. Ohh!
  • Joker: I think you're gonna love it.
  • Riddler: It's just like summer camp,
  • Scarecrow: except with brutal forced marches...
  • Poison Ivy: and soul-crushing discipline.
  • Penguin: And one more thing... It's Ramsley, you shot-nosed son of a...
  • Two-Face: wonderful woman who I'm crazy about! Oww!
  • Ramsley: Gosh, I love children!
  • Ra's Al Ghul: Oh, Joan, I didn't see you there.
  • Max Shreck: Would you be a doll and help me bring up chairs from the basement?
  • Catwoman: Nothing would give more pleasure, Joan,
  • Mr. Freeze: but I do have to run.
  • Bane: I have a very important sales conference downtown.
  • Clayface: Oh, Okay.
  • Mad Hatter: Well, I'll see you at the party tonight.
  • Ramsley: Sure.
  • Alan: Mom, that guy's a total phony.
  • Ginny: You can't let Ramsley...
  • Joan: It's Ramsley, Joker.

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