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The Pie Adventure

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The Pie Adventure is an excellent story that YOU MUST READ!


Story

The story begins at the birthday party of Jack de la Pieface, Royal Ambassador, King, Prime Minister AND President of France. Only the richest and poshest people are invited to this party...which doesn't really explain why a hobo, a chav, and a hippie are the first guests the reader learns about. Anyway, Jack decides the party needs a little 'oomph', so he makes the world's nicest pie. Everyone gets a slice, but there's one slice left! As everyone begins to fight over it (and the chav is killed), Jack makes a tournament for the pie.

Sylvester Gallstone beats Bruiser Knucklehead in a boxing match because Knucklehead knocks himself out, confused by Jack's French language. In the next match John Cena faces the hobo in a classic Cena match, with Cena hitting his Five Moves of Doom and only losing because loads of people attacked him. Zidane (FF9) is beaten next, in a football match against Christiano Ronaldhino. Jack then reveals that losers get shot, and kills Zidane mercilessly.

As Bruiser Knucklehead tries to defend himself, Jack speaks French to confuse him before shooting him. John Cena is made of tougher stuff, and takes several shots to be killed despite them all being in fatal places. Sca-REAM is defeated next, beaten in a fight against Roland the Magic Mage before being horribly mutilated by Roland and brutally shot by Jack.

In the next match, Super Saiyan 4 Vegito (with his elder powers unlocked by the Elder Kai) faces Farmer w/ Shotgun from the first episode of Dragon Ball Z. Apparently the Farmer had just been hiding his power level when he met Raditz, and kills SS4 Vegito with a beam from his shotgun. Jack is angry at not getting to kill someone, so he shoots Vegito's heart, which the beam blasted out of his body.

The next match is Dredrick Tatum against a mystery opponent, but Tatum can't find his opponent because loads of people are crowding the ring, and all Tatum can find is a book, a pair of binoculars, and a red and white striped tail. Tatum is eventually killed by his mystery opponent when two arms in red and white striped sleeves break his neck from behind. Angry at again not being able to kill someone, Jack shoots all the people who crowded the ring, as well as some guy who was supposed to have a match next, so his scheduled opponent automatically wins.

Characters

Jack de la Pieface Jack de la Pieface is a very rich, posh, important Frenchman. Speaking in a badly-written French accent and varying randomly between French and English when he speaks, Jack is annoying to talk to. He is equipped with one revolver, which he uses to shoot losers. Jack is known to, instead of ending people's life instantly, shoot several non-vitals before ending their life (for no reason whatsoever).

The Hobo A random hobo who went to Jack de la Pieface's party. With a straw hat, dirty white shirt, filthy dungarees, brown shoes with holes cut in for the toes to come out of, and a piece of straw in between two teeth, he is all hobo. He also has a wrestling background, using a strong style of wrestling. His finisher is the Hobo Clothesline, a powerful clothesline he used to beat John Cena.

The Chav A random chav who went to Jack de la Pieface's party. He wears a baseball cap, football jersey too big for him, 3/4 lengths, trainers, and too much bling for his own good. He is the first major character to be killed, felled by a morning star shot while he raps about how great he is.

The Hippie A random hippie who went to Jack de la Pieface's party. With natural hair, colourful clothes, a golden medallion with the peace sign on it, and colourful circular sunglasses, he is 100% treehugging hippie, stuck in the 60s. He is the only character who has been mentioned, but has not specifically fought or been attacked (he does have a fight, but near the start everyone in the party fights and he is not specifically mentioned).

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