Version 1

  • Alvin, Simon and Theodore: We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
  • Narrator: Hoist the mainstay! Trim the sails! Paint the poopdeck!?! Alvin and the Chipmunks are about to rock - the dock!
  • Simon: Sorry!
  • Narrator: Coming to theaters in February 2008. Jimmyandfriends's Entertainment presents The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A CartoonTales Movie. From the award-winning artists and creative team that gave cartoons a voice and launched the box office hit Woody: A CartoonTales Movie comes a hilarious high-seas odyssey about three wannabe chipmunks who long to be heroes.
  • John A. Davis: And that pulls them into an adventure they didn't come seeing at all a real adventure that they'll have to become real pirates and see if they'll become real heroes.
  • Narrator: But these are three of the most unlikely heroes you'll ever meet. Because Alvin Seville...
  • Alvin: Perhaps I can be of assistance.
  • Narrator: Theodore Seville...
  • Theodore: Aye, aye captain!
  • Narrator: And Simon Seville...
  • Simon: Man the cannon!
  • Narrator: ...Are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
  • Steve Banks: They're called into adventure and hauled back in time basically by a princess... her ship has been overrun by pirates.
  • Narrator: Helping a princess, rescuing a prince, saving a kingdom and discovering what it means to be a real hero.
  • Steve Banks: And that comes across never being afraid to do what's right even when it's hard.
  • John A. Banks: It means a lot more than you think it will coming from cartoons. And you don't really expect them to tug at your heart like they actually do.
  • Narrator: Set sail for adventure with a group of misfit pirates looking through the world as they really are and discover that not all heroes have to be tall, strong, handsome or even human. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A CartoonTales Movie - coming to theaters in February 2008!

Version 2

  • Narrator: This winter, the chipmunks are back!
  • Princess Elionwy: The heroes. They're here!
  • Theodore: Does anyone know where the bathroom is?
  • Narrator: From the creators of Woody. The most successful cartoon movie of all time.
  • Alvin: She thinks we're, uh...
  • Simon: Heroes.
  • Theodore: You're kidding, right?
  • Alvin: Oh, come on, how hard could it be?
  • Narrator: Comes three heroes as cool as chipmunks.
  • Theodore: He's scared of everything. Spiders, snakes, wicker furniture.
  • General Mandible: Get them!
  • Theodore: Okay, time to go home.
  • Simon: There's something you don't see every day.
  • Narrator: CartoonTales: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
  • Theodore: What kind of a crazy movie am I in?

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