- (JimmyandFriends's Entertainment logo shows up)
- Narrator: A cute chipmunk, a smart chipmunk, and an awesome chipmunk who wants to be cool. Have been called to save a princess.
- Princess Elionwy: The heroes. They're here!
- Theodore: Does anyone know where the bathroom is?
- Princess Elionwy: I'm Elionwy, Princess of Monteria. Pirates have taken my brother, Prince Taran. With my father, the King, away in the west, it is imperative that we mount a rescue immediately.
- Alvin: Come again?
- Narrator: Now, in the world of ruthless pirates.
- Theodore: I've seen that on TV. You can cut a can with it and still slice a tomato.
- Narrator: Where dragons roam...
- Alvin: Hey, guys? There's bubbles.
- Theodore: I don't know about you, but I'm going to wet myself.
- Narrator: And minions attack.
- Evil Minions: (roars)
- Theodore: I want to go home!
- Narrator: Three chipmunks who aspire to greatness.
- Theodore: I don't think that's possible, and that's coming from a guy who just swam 92 nautical miles with arms or legs.
- Narrator: From the creators of Woody - The most successful cartoon movie of all time.
- Alvin: How do you start this thing?
- Simon: (laughing)
- Narrator: Comes the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
- Theodore: We landed on a beach, I was running from evil purple minions. Something came up behind us, It was a Orge Monster!
- Simon: There's something you don't see every day.
- General Mandible: Get them!
- Theodore: Orge Monster! Orge Monster!
- Woody: These men hardly seem the heroic type.
- Simon: Back home, they actually call us "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything."
- Woody: How comforting.
- Theodore: Orge Monster!
- Narrator: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
- Alvin: What? It's a good song. Don't you like it?
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