- The Queen as Chris
- Prime Minister Tony Blair as Rob
- Prince Philip as Toaster
- Cherie Blair as Maisie
- Charles, Prince of Wales as Lampy
- Robin Janvrin as Radio
- Queen Elizabeth as Tinselina
- Stephen Lamport as Ratso
- Alastair Campbell as Beaker
- Lord Airlie as Kirby
- Equerry as Wittgenstein
- Janbrin's Secretary as Fauct
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