• Mario as Yakko
  • Yoshi as Wakko
  • Birdo as Dot
  • Luigi as Dr. Otto ScratchNSniff
  • Princess Peach as Hello Nurse
  • Wario as Mr. Plotz
  • Mallow as Ralph the Guard
  • Larry "Cheatsy" Koopa as Pinky
  • Ludwing "Kooky" Von Koopa as The Brain
  • Wendy O. "Kootie Pie" Koopa as Slappy Squirrel
  • Toad as Skippy Squirrel
  • Bowser as Walter Wolf
  • Motron "Big Mouth" Koopa Jr. as Sid the Squid
  • Roy "Bully" Koopa as Beanie the Brain-Dead Bison
  • Waluigi as Pesto
  • Funky Kong as Bobby
  • Oogtar as Squit
  • Toadette as Mindy
  • Dixie Kong as Rita
  • Diddy Kong as Runt
  • Koopa Kid as The Mime
  • Paratroopa as Chicken Boo
  • Donkey Kong as Flavio
  • Candy Kong as Marita
  • Pauline as Katie Ka-Boom
  • Princess Daisy as Minerva Mink
  • Squawks as Little Blue Bird
  • Smithy as Neivel Nosenest
  • Snide as Tech


(Nintendo characters playing the instrutments)

Princess Peach: (gasp)

(Waluigi, Funky Kong & Oogtar are look someones there)

Mallow: (gasps)

Smithy: Settle, people, settle.  (Clears throat) 

Squawks: (Clears throat) 

Smithy: Good morning.  Your regular king, Richard Stone, is off having a long deserved rest at Camarillo, so I, Smithy, shall conduct today's scoring session. Before we begin, I have three rules which must be obeyed.  Number one: no one is to be late.

Birdo: Sorry i'm late!  Excuse me.  Excuse me.  Coming through.  Sorry. Oops.  Watch out.  Pardon me.  So sorry.

Smithy: (Growls)

Birdo: Oh, don't mind me.  Just go right ahead.

Smithy: (Clears throat) Rule number 2: never interrupt me wh--

(Door opens)

Mario: Sorry to interrupt, but does anybody know where I'm sitting?

Smithy: Rrrrr.  There!

Mario: Thanks. Nice tie. Yard sale?

Smithy: Rule number 3: musicians will arrive with their instruments tuned and prepared to play. 

(Door opens)

Yoshi: Hi!  Do you happen to know if there's a recording session today?

Smithy: Yes!  There is a recording session today.

Yoshi: Oh.  Well, I left my sheet music in the watertower. Do you have an extra copy I can borrow?

Smithy: Just take your seat!  There's music on the stands!

Yoshi: Thanks.  Say, where's Richard?

Smithy: As I already explained, he's out today.  I am the guest King Smithy.

Mario & Birdo: Smithy! Smithy! (Snickering) 

Birdo: How do you get a name like 'Nosenest'? (The squawks of paradise flies up his nose)  Forget I asked.

Mario & Yoshi: Eew! Ewww!!

Smithy: All right, people. Please turn to the first piece of music.

(Coming through the Rye) 

Yoshi: (Gulping his lunch) (Belch) (Pulls out chicken legs)  Drumsticks. (Mozart's Symphony #40)

Smithy: People, settle.  The cartoon we're scoring today is called "Lights, Camera, Traction".  And in this scene, I need you to arpeggiate the chords into the modulation and accelerando out of the first movement.

Mallow:  Duuh, whadda that mean?

Mario: It means play it like cartoon music, Mallow.

Nintendo Charaters: Oh, yes. I see.

Larry "Cheatsy" Koopa: Narf!

Smithy: Here we go.  And 1, 2, 3, 4...

(Morning from Peer Gynt)

Birdo: Hold it!

Smithy: What?

Birdo: Yes, I have a question. On page 3, bar 2, measure 41. I have a B-flat. Did you mean to write a B-flat?

Luigi: I have an A-sharp.

Diddy Kong: Yeah, I have a G-flat. Definitely a G-flat.

Mallow: Aah, I think mine is an M. (Everyone talking) 

Smithy: Quiet! Of course it's a B-flat.  See? B-flat. It's supposed to be a B-flat. 

Birdo: That's what I thought.  Fine.  If that's what you want, a B-flat it is.

Smithy: Rrrrrgh. Let's move on, shall we?

(Mario, Yoshi & Birdo' theme)

Yoshi: (Gong!)

Smithy: Give me that! (Grabs mallet) What does it say here? It says piano. Piano means soft. You're supposed to play piano.

Mario: Riiight! (Plays jazz intro) 

(Everyone joins in)

Smithy: No, no, no.  That's all wrong.  Stop it!  Stop it at once, I say!  I said stop! Let's pick it up from 1-M-3, bar 22: the violin solo.  Violinists?  The next part is very cartoony, so I need you to purposely play this section badly.

Birdo: Well, you've come to the right place.

Yoshi: Can we play badly, too?

Mario: We won't let you down!

Smithy: No. Bar 22. And 1, 2, 3, and...

Bowser: Eh, it wasn't like this back in the good old days at the philharmonic.  We played real music, not this noise. 

(Mario, Yoshi & Birdo' theme)

(Notes fly around the room).

(Wakko takes after them with a fly-swatter) 

Birdo: Oh, come on.  This is unplayable!

Smithy: Oh! Aagh! Get these things away from me!

(Flight of the Bumblebee)

Mario: Stand back! We'll take care of this.

Yoshi: Bad notes! Bad, bad notes! 

Mario: There! Our job here is done.

Birdo: Congratulations.

Mario: Thank you.  And a special thanks to all the little quarter notes that made this possible.

Smithy: All right!  That does it!  How can I conduct when you three are driving me crazy?

Mario, Yoshi  & Birdo: We'll show you how!

Mario: I think it should go, @@@@@h...something like this.

(Plumbermaniacs Theme)

Smithy: Stop it right now!

Birdo: Yeah.  It's my turn!

(Alphabet Song) 

Smithy: This is not the right music.

Yoshi: How about this?

(Grabbing baton)

(That Farm Song)

Smithy: Give me that! (Mario, Yoshi & Birdo' theme) Yes. Like this. Better. Very nice. Huh? (Wakko pops out of his sleeve and swipes the baton) Come back here with that! (Iris out!)

Birdo: Nice job there, Neivel.

Yoshi: Faboo. 

(Everyone applauds)

Snide: It sounded great, King, uh, Smithy.

Smithy: Thank you.  It did go rather well, didn't it?

Snide: Absolutely. And we're ready to record any time you are.

Smithy: Huh? You mean you didn't record what we just did?

Snide: No. We were just setting the levels.

Smithy: Oooooogh! Oh, all right. Places, everybody.

Mario: Union break. 

(Nintendo characters out of the scoring session)

Smithy: No, wait!  Please come back! (Laughing maniacally) (Mozart's Symphony #40)

Mario: You know, that's the fifth king we've lost this week.

(Mario, Yoshi & Birdo' theme)

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