The Simpsons/Thomas Parody 15: Haunted Barney

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  • Barney as Henry
  • Ned Flanders as Edward
  • Stan Marsh (from South Park) as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Espio (from Sonic) as Henry's Driver
  • Diddy Kong (from Mario) as Henry's Fireman
  • Harry Cupper (from Shining Time Station) as Old Bailey
  • Warrior (from TUGS) as A Workman
  • Principal Skinner as Gordon (Non-Speaking Role)
  • Alec Baldwin as The Narrator


  • Alec Baldwin: It was a moonlit night. Barney Gumble was taking some special carts to a town by the lake.
  • Ned Flanders: Whenever that owl hoots, a mist rolls in.
  • Alec Baldwin: Murmured Ned.
  • Ned: There’s a legend that when the mist’s about, there’s a ghost about too. Take care on the old line, Barney.
  • Barney: Stupid bird!
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Barney.
  • Barney: Owls…mists…ghosts…Ned’s going soft in the head. There’s no mist.
  • Alec Baldwin: But Barney was wrong.
  • Barney: What’s that?
  • Alec Baldwin: Cried Barney.
  • Espio: It’s an amber light.
  • Alec Baldwin: Murmured Espio.
  • Espio: That means, Proceed with caution. Who’s there?
  • Alec Baldwin: No one replied. Barney crept slowly forward. He stopped by a tree. It had a sign nailed to it: “BEWARE OF THE BRIDGE.” Espio was surprised.
  • Espio: No one warned us about that before, and look -- the light’s red! And the gates are closed. And there’s a fogman’s coat! But where is its owner?
  • Alec Baldwin: Then they saw a light moved within a house.
  • Barney: G-g-g-g-g-GHOSTS!
  • Alec Baldwin: Exclaimed Barney.
  • Barney: Ned was right!
  • Espio: Something very strange is happening.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Espio.
  • Espio: I think it’s best we go back.
  • Barney: So do I!
  • Alec Baldwin: Agreed Barney. By morning, the mists have cleared. Warrior was talking about the unsafe bridge.
  • Warrior: Lucky you didn’t cross it last night.
  • Espio: Yes, but we don’t know who warned us.
  • Alec Baldwin: Replied Espio. Later that day, he spoke to Barney.
  • Espio: The bridge has been repaired. We can take our load back along the old line tonight.
  • Alec Baldwin: Barney really didn’t want to. But when nightfall came, he was sizzling nicely. Suddenly, an owl hooted, and then Principal Skinner thundered by.
  • Robot: Oh look--Barney’s spooked!
  • Alec Baldwin: Said a robot.
  • Barney: Be quiet!
  • Alec Baldwin: Snapped Barney.
  • Barney: I’m not scared.
  • Alec Baldwin: But he was. A little later, the fog came down. As they approached the same area, they saw the amber light again.
  • Espio: Here we go.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Espio. Then, unknown to Barney, the gates mysteriously closed by themselves. And the signal went red. The robots have seen everything, and they were spooked.
  • Robots: Faster! Faster! There’s a ghost about.
  • Barney: Stop! Stop!
  • Alec Baldwin: Yelled Barney. A mysterious figure watched Barney go by. Ahead was a landslide blocking the road. Barney braked hard, but the robots hit some of the rubble and plunged over the ravine. Just then, Espio saw a strange sight coming towards them.
  • Espio: What’s that?
  • Alec Baldwin: He said. Diddy Kong laughed.
  • Diddy Kong: That’s our ghost -- it’s Harry Cupper, the engineer!
  • Alec Baldwin: Harry Cupper was very cross.
  • Harry Cupper: I tried to warn you about the bridge. Why didn’t you pay attention?
  • Espio: We’re sorry.
  • Alec Baldwin: Replied Espio.
  • Espio: Is there anything we can do to thank you?
  • Harry: I’d like to operate that old house. If you let me, I promise I won’t spook Barney again.
  • Alec Baldwin: And in a little while, Harry’s wish was granted.
  • Stan Marsh: You will be really useful.
  • Alec Baldwin: Said Stan Marsh.
  • Stan Marsh: Let’s hear a hearty thank you to the friendliest, uh, ghost in Springfield.
  • Alec Baldwin: Everyone cheered. Especially Barney, who was the happiest of all.

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