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Homer as Thomas
John as Stepney
Bart as Percy
Ned Flanders as Edward
Carl as Douglas
Reverend Lovejoy as Rusty
Martin Prince as Duck (Non-Speaking Role)
Rocket (from Sonic) as Stepney's Driver
Orson (from Garfield & Friends) as The Signalman
Sonic (from Sonic) as Thomas's Driver
George Carlin as The Narrator
George Carlin: Homer Simpson was feeling very happy. His car shone in the sun, he was right on time, and all around his route the countryside seemed prettier than ever before.
Homer: Good morning, Bart.
George Carlin: He said.
Homer: My route is the pride of Springfield. Wouldn’t you agree?
Bart: Uh…yes, Homer, of course, but, uh…
Homer: But what, Bart? Out with it.
Bart: Well, there is another person with a famous route too.
Homer: Who? Where?
Bart: His name is John. He’s far away. But Stan Marsh says he may visit us.
Bart: Oh, someday.
George Carlin: And Bart hurried away. Meanwhile, John was driving steadily along his route. It isn’t very long, and that made him feel a little sad. Later he saw Reverend Lovejoy. The Reverend had helped saved John from death.
John: Everyone’s been so kind. But my route is so short, and I do miss a good long run.
Reverend Lovejoy: I think you should tell Rocket too.
George Carlin: Replied Reverend Lovejoy.
Reverend Lovejoy: I’m sure he’ll understand.
George Carlin: John soon discovered that indeed he did.
Rocket: Do you know, John? I feel just the same way.
George Carlin: That evening, he had exciting news.
Rocket: Guess what, John? Stan Marsh has invited us to visit the other people in Springfield. Manager agreed. It’ll be a really long run to get there.
John: Oh, thank you!
George Carlin: Sighed John. They set off next morning. By now, all the people in Springfield were talking about John.
Bart: He drives a famous route. Did you know that?
George Carlin: Said Bart. Homer was feeling a little jealous.
Homer: Huh! It may be famous, but my route is the first in town. Everyone knows that too.
George Carlin: And he went away to do some work.
George Carlin: Squeaked Bart.
Bart: Why have they all come? Nobody’s here yet.
George Carlin: But Bart was wrong. From far away, a car horn honked.
Carl: Here he comes!
George Carlin: Yelled Bart. John drove proudly down Main Street.
Ned: I hope you meet Homer too.
George Carlin: Said Ned.
Ned: You both have routes to be proud of.
George Carlin: Then John set off to help Martin with some work, and they worked happily together all afternoon. At last, Homer arrived.
Homer: Sorry. Can’t talk. It’s time for my last delivery. Mustn’t be late.
George Carlin: He was hardly out of sight when John and Martin heard shouting nearby. Moments later came the alarm.
Manager: Stop all deliveries!
George Carlin: Orson answered the telephone.
Orson: A special, is it? I see.
George Carlin: Homer was impatient.
Homer: Why are we waiting? My delivery is being delayed.
Sonic: Sorry, Homer.
George Carlin: Said Sonic.
Sonic: We’re being stopped to allow another person to pass.
George Carlin: Soon they saw an unfamiliar sight. There was John with headlights swaying and horn tooting. He gathered speed and disappeared.
George Carlin: Said Homer J. Simpson. Next day he was still fuming.
Homer: Stopped. And on my own route too. It’s a disgrace!
John: I’m sorry.
George Carlin: Said John.
John: I was a special.
John: An important person arrived just as you left. He ordered a special load and Martin let me take it. It was a splendid run, but…
George Carlin: Finished Homer.
Homer: It can make someone nervous not to know the route.
George Carlin: Said John.
John: You’re such an expert.
George Carlin: Homer felt much better. He couldn’t be cross anymore, and began telling John all about his route.