Thomas/South Park Parody 2: James Thinks He's Dead

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Thomas, Duck and Oliver decide to ignore James, which causes the red engine to think he's dead.


  • James as Eric Cartman
  • Thomas as Stan Marsh
  • Duck as Kyle Broflovski
  • Oliver as Kenny McCormick
  • Duke as Black Plumber
  • Bertram as Thin Plumber
  • Fearless Freddie as Fat Plumber
  • Toby as Clyde
  • Donald as Jimmy
  • Douglas as Timmy
  • Stanley as Token Black
  • Toby as Clyde
  • Wilbert (from The RWS) as Craig
  • Sir Handel as Blond
  • Sixteen (from the RWS) as Kevin
  • The Mine Manager as Man
  • Miss Jenny as Woman


  • (Thomas, Duck and Oliver are waiting at the junction. James hasn't arrived yet)
  • Thomas: I can't believe that stuck-up snort!
  • Duck: You can't believe it?? He does trouble all the time!
  • Thomas: Well this time he's gone too far!
  • Oliver: Yeah, kick him!
  • Thomas: Why do we even hang out with him anyway?
  • Duck: Hello?? I've been saying this for years!
  • Thomas: Well, it's not like we're nice to him. I mean, we blow on him all the time!
  • Duck: Yes, but he thrives on that.
  • Thomas: All right. Then let's just ignore him. From now on, let's not talk to him, let's not even acknowledge him.
  • Oliver: Oh, yeah!
  • Duck: That sounds great!
  • James: (puffs into the junction) Hey morons, what's going on? (no one says a word) Man, I was taking a drink of water all night from that chicken. I thought I was gonna die. (silence)
  • Duck: Do any of you guys have milk money I can borrow?
  • Thomas: I think I had extra.
  • James: Oh wow, a little engine asking for money! There's a new one. (Thomas fishes around for some money in his footplate, puffs over a bit, and gives it to Duck) Yuh, you guys know why little engines have glassy eyes?
  • Thomas: There you go.
  • Duck: Thanks. (Thomas returns to his post next to Sixteen)
  • James: Man, Thomas, yuh you know why little engines have glassy eyes? Like Duck? (neither of them says a thing) Eh. O-Oliver, you see that chick on the news that had her left titty cut off? (chuckles. Oliver doesn't awnser) Oliver? Oliver?? (the signal turns green. The engines leave, except James) Thomas? Thomas, it's me, James!! (Oliver enters next) Eh... Oliver. Oliver, you want fifty cents? (Duck enters last) Man, look at me, Duck, I'm right here! (Seeing no reaction, James is stunned. The other engines ignore him) Wha...? How did...? Like they couldn't see or hear me. It's almost as if I were... (close-up) dead. (dramatic music) No. No, I can't be dead. (runs off) I can't be dead!!
  • (cut to Molly, with Duke coming to visit and talking to her, and Bertram and Fearless Freddie pulling a box)
  • Duke: All right, ma'am. We've got your new water tower installed and we'll haul away the old one away for ya.
  • Molly: Oh, you've been so helpful, I uh, just don't know how to thank you.
  • Duke: Hunh, I could think of a few ways, hunh.
  • Molly: Ohoho, nhn.
  • (James runs back to the yard. He then sees Bertram and Freddie taking the box on their flatbed, fearing the worst)
  • James: NO! NOO!!
  • Fearless Freddie: What happened? Did they say?
  • Bertram: Apparently there was so much water, and it collasped on the tracks.
  • Fearless Freddie: Oh, that's tragic.
  • James: Oh no! This can't be happening! (hears Molly sobbing) Molly? Molly's crying? Oh no! It is true! (puffs to see this. Duke was banging Molly on her side. James turns and cries loud) Oh, it's not fair! (falls on his side) Why?! WHY?!?! (cries some more. Molly cries some more as well)
  • (cut to the Wharf)
  • Donald: Hey, fellas. W-where's James?
  • Thomas: James isn't our friend anymore.
  • Duck: We're ignoring him.
  • Stanley: Ignore him? How come?
  • Duck: Because he's a big stupid, self-centered, rude engine!
  • Wilbert: Hey, I hate James too. Can I ignore him with you?
  • Sir Handel: Yeah!
  • Sixteen: Me too.
  • Other Engines: Curse him!
  • Toby: I never realized ignoring him is an option.
  • James: (arriving) Guys! Guys? Can anybody hear me? You guys?? Stanley, Stanley, I'm here! (leaves) Hello! Hello! Hello! (approches Toby) Toby, can't you feel me? (moves him around, but no reaction from Toby) Feel me, Toby! (moves on to Donald) Donald! Donald, it's me, James! (blows on Donald) Donald! (puff) Can't you feel your funnel fill steam?! That's me! (turns away) They don't even know yet, that one of their best friends is dead. (begins to tear up) Dead and... still wandering the earth a lost soul.
  • (Later. He wanders around Sodor, sobbing, and no one notices to see what's wrong until...)
  • Miss Jenny: What was that red engine doing?
  • The Mine Manager: I don't know. Just ignore him.
  • (A blazing sunset over a bridge. James' wails had gotten deeper, more emotional)
  • (Night time, over a full moon. James puffs past a farm house. Nearby are a scarecrow and a few pumpkins)

My Comments

  • ThomasandGordon: Are you going to do a Barney version of the parody?

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