James tells Diesel the story how he killed Diesel's parents.

The Cast:

  • James as Eric Cartman
  • Thomas as Stan Marsh
  • Duck as Kyle Broflovski
  • Diesel as Scott Tenorman

Transcript (made by ThomasDuckJamesandPercyFan)

Diesel: [shunting his flatbed with a plate of chili before James] Alright, I guess we should taste each other's chili, huh?
James: [inspecting the flatbed] Huh, this chili looks pretty good. Weh, here's mine. [hands his plate to Diesel, who takes it to his end of the table and starts eating]
Diesel: Mmm. Ah, I don't know. Your chili is pretty good, James, but I think mine is better. Try it.
James: Alright. [takes the dish and starts eating. Both engines munch away for a few moments] Hey, this is great! [Thomas and Duck stifle giggles]
Diesel: Eh, it's a special recipe.
James: [begins to wolf down the food] Gawh, this is really good, Diesel!
Diesel: I'm glad you like it so much, because now that you're almost finished, I have some'in' to tell you.
James: What? You mean about how you put quarry dust in your chili? [Everyone at the Sodor Chili Canival is shocked, even Diesel, at this accusation]
Diesel: What?!
James: Yehes, I'm afraid this isn't your chili, Diesel. I switched it with Hank's. [Hank looks like he's been used] It's delicious, Hank. I hadn't planned on that. What I did plan on, however, was that my friends, Thomas and Duck, would betray me and warn you that the Sodor Chili Carnival was a trap. [Thomas and Duck are stunned] I assumed that they would tell you that I had trained car to bite off your buffers. What they didn't tell you was that Mr. Tanker is a tanker steam engine who pushes engines off cliffs. Knowing that you would try and do somethng to the pony, I warned Mr. Tanker that violent car wreckers were in the area. [A shot of James telling the Stationmaster of such a thing. The Tanker is armed] I also know that you wouldn't go yourself, for fear of having your buffers bitten off. You would most likely send your parents. [A shot of Diesel talking with his parents] And, I'm afraid that when Mr. Tanker spotted them on his property, he pushed both your parents over the edge of a cliff and they fell down to pieces. [Spencer and CiCi are in the mountain site to rescue the "broken-down" car, but upon seeing Spencer's lit flashlight, The Tanker pushes them off a cliff and they go down and hit the ravine hard with a loud exploding smash]
The Tanker: [looks of horror surround him] Well, they was trespassin' and I was protectin' myself. I, I have my rights.
Diesel: My... mom and dad are... scrapped? [A shot of BoCo taking a report from the Tanker]
James: I came just in time to see Mr. Tanker giving his report to BoCo. And of course, to steal the wrecked bodies... [A shot of James puffing in, seeing Tanker and BoCo, and taking Spencer and CiCi's remains on a flatbed into the scrapyards. The car moves away] After a night with the hacksaw, I was all ready to put on my Sodor Chili Carnival, so that I could tell you personally about your parents' demise! And of course, feed you your chili. [more faces of horror behnd James] Do you like it? Do you like it, Diesel? [A gleefully evil look comes over James] I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Diesel Chili."
Diesel: [looks at James for a while, realizing what's just happened] Grease & Oil! [gagging, he fishes through the plate and finds CiCi's funnel, that was turned into scrap iron. He tosses it away] Grease & Oil!! [vomits off to the side]
James: [sings] Nyahnyahnyahnyah nyah nyah! I made you eat your parents! Nyahnyahnyahnyah nyah nyah! [Thomas and Duck are way stunned]
Thomas: Fizzling Fireboxes!
Diesel: [grief-stricken, he falls on his side and cries] My mom and dad are scrapped! No! NOOO!! [The lorries arrive and stand behind Diesel. Thomas notices]
Lorry 1: Uhm, excuse me?
Thomas: Who are you?
Lorry 2: We're that band, Lorries.
Diesel: Aw, man.
Lorry 3: Jeez, what a li'l crybaby!
Lorry 4: Are you gonna cry all day, crybaby??
Lorry 1: You know, everyone has problems; it doesn't mean you have to be a little crybaby about it.
Lorry 3: Come om, guys, let's go. This diesel is totally not cool. [the members of the band start leaving]
Lorry 1: Yeah, that's the most uncool diesel I've ever met.
Lorry 5: Little crybaby!
Diesel: [gathers himself and looks] No, wait! Waaiittt!! Grease & Oil, Grease & Oiiill!! [bawls again] Noooo!
James: [runs over to Diesel] Yes! Yesss!! Oh, let me taste your tears, Diesel! [starts licking Diesel's tears off his face] Mm, your tears are so yummy and sweet.
Duck: Thomas, I think it might be best for us to never make James mad again.
Thomas: Good call.
James: Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! My-ymmuy. [licks the tears off Diesel's face.] Mm-yummy you guys! Yuppitibut, that's all, folks! [waves]

My Comments

  • ThomasEmilyJamesandMollyFan: James makes a perfect Eric because they're both Spoiled Brats, and Diesel makes a perfect Scott because they're both devious villians
  • BiggestThomasDuckJamesandPercyFan: Here's my cast:
    James as Eric Cartman
    Thomas as Stan Marsh
    Duck as Kyle Broflovski
    Percy as Kenny McCormick
    Bill/Ben as Butters Stotch
    Emily as Wendy Testaburger
  • GordonandEricCartmanFan: If I made Thomas/South Park parodies, I would use Spencer as Scott. But Diesel is also a good choise.
  • BarneyShawnBJandDerekFan: If I did a Barney version of this clip, I would use, BJ as Cartman, Bowser (from Mario) as Scott, Barney as Stan and Shawn as Kyle.
  • BarneyShawnBJandMichaelFan: Woah, Diesel deserved Spencer and CiCi's deaths when they got scrapped by James.
  • BarneyThomasRingoStarrandMichaelAngelisFan: James wins and he has his own plan on Diesel!
    • ThomasDuckJamesandPercyFan: Yeah. Poor Diesel. And James is the most aggorant vain steamie ever and Cartman is the most sggorant kid ever!

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