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These are some transcripts of one of the Thomas/The Pond parody episodes.

Transcript (Episode Version)

  • (Thomas and Percy are playing ping-pong.)
  • Thomas: Take that!
  • (The ball falls onto the main line.)
  • Thomas: Ha! 20 19!
  • Percy: Great playing, my friend. This is the best I've ever played, and I still might lose.
  • Thomas: I was a tad best. Not bad when you remember tank engines shunt thousands of trucks at a time.
  • (Thomas and Percy look at the ping-pong ball.)
  • Percy: Hey, I have an idea, you get this one.
  • Thomas: Oh no, I'm not going there. Grab another.
  • Percy: She's got the others. She's got all our toys.
  • Thomas: Well, you know the rules: you lost the points, you go get the ball, and better hurry.
  • Percy: Not a chance! I forfit!
  • Thomas: Let's go know we're running short on time here! No forfitting!
  • Percy: It's too dangerous!
  • Thomas: Come on!
  • Percy: Sorry, my friend. No game is worth risking what lurks on the seemingly empty main line.
  • Thomas: If that were a chocolate cupcake?
  • Percy: I would fall into the smelting pit. But not a ball. Not a ball without frosting anyway.
  • Thomas: Ehh...
  • (Thomas chuffs on the main line.)
  • Thomas: I'll win the match legitimatelly, even if I lose some buffers in the process.
  • Percy: (worried) I shouldn't have let him go on there.
  • (When Thomas chuffs towards the ball, a green diesel zooms past him.)
  • Thomas: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
  • Percy: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
  • Thomas: Why does she do that?
  • (The diesel pushes the ball into her shed.)
  • Percy: I guess there's no winner today.
  • Thomas: I beg to differ. What else can we play with?
  • Percy: She has all the ping pong balls.
  • Thomas: Got any hot candy?
  • Percy: Candy is not a toy! I would rather eat a ping pong ball than play with candy. You know, a ping pong ball dipped in chocolate doesn't sound half bad. But she still has them all.
  • James: I'm next! Who won?
  • Percy: Hi, James.
  • James: Hi, Percy!
  • Thomas: I won!
  • Percy: You were ahead. Barely.
  • Thomas: But the ball went on the line.
  • James: She got it?
  • Thomas: Yes. Nearly got my bufferbeam this time too.
  • James: Guys, we need to try to talking to her. It's only right. I mean, maybe she takes our toys because she needs them.
  • Thomas: For some truck orphanage?
  • James: My point is, we can't just complain about someone without going to them.
  • Percy: James has got a point. It's only right.
  • Thomas: You go right ahead, James. Talk to her.
  • James: I can't. I'm a steam engine. I can't breathe in the scent of diesel oil while trying to hold reasonable conversations.
  • Thomas: That's okay. I don't think she does reasonable.
  • Percy: I'm not talking to her! She scares me!
  • Thomas: She scares us all.
  • James: It's gotta be you, Thomas. You're the best talker in the bunch.
  • Thomas: No way!
  • James: You see, I can go without ping-pong. I like to read books.
  • Percy: I like dessert. I don't need to compete. Dessert fills that need.
  • Thomas: This is not working! Much.
  • James: I lose in games all the time anyway. This will be a nice break from humiliation.
  • Percy: Thomas beats me nine times out of ten.
  • James: Well, that's over now.
  • Percy: Phew! I think I like this new life.
  • Thomas: Alright! I'm going!
  • James: You are?
  • Thomas: I am. I've had enough. If I'm not back in five minutes, have your driver throw a toy on the main line. She'll leave me alone if she thinks she can get it.
  • (Thomas puffs onto the main line.)
  • James: He's crazy.
  • Percy: Yeah, but he's our crazy.
  • (Thomas got to the diesel's shed. The diesel was Daisy, and she wasn't happy at all.)
  • Daisy: Well, what do we have here?
  • Thomas

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