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Trust RS Mr. Conductor and Other Stories is a TV/Thomas parody of the Thomas AUS video, Trust Thomas and Other Stories. It features nine third season episodes of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends narrated by Michael Angelis.

Cast

  • RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
  • Edd (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) as Edward
  • Homer (from The Simpsons) as Henry
  • Garfield (from Garfield and Friends) as Gordon
  • Schemer (from Shining Time Station) as James
  • Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
  • Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby
  • Spike (from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) as Duck
  • Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) as Diesel
  • Roger Baxter (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as BoCo
  • Meg (from Family Guy) as Mavis
  • Goombas (from Mario) as The Troublesome Trucks
  • Scooby Doo (from Scooby Doo) as Terence
  • Ten Cents (from TUGS) as Bertie
  • Sunshine (from TUGS) as Trevor
  • Budgie (from Budgie the Little Helicopter) as Harold
  • Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt
  • Reverend Lovejoy (from The Simpsons) as The Vicar of Wellsworth
  • Eustace (from Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Jeremiah Jobling (not named)
  • Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (not named)
  • Mario (from Mario) as Donald (does not speak)
  • Tex (from Shining Time Station) as Bill (does not speak)
  • Rex (from Shining Time Station) as Ben (does not speak)
  • Luigi (from Mario) as Douglas (cameo)
  • Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie (cameo)
  • Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel (cameo)
  • Phil (from Rugrats) as Stephen Hatt (cameo)
  • Lil (from Rugrats) as Bridget Hatt (cameo)
  • Mrs. Twombly (from Littlest Pet Shop (2012)) as Mrs. Kyndley (cameo)
  • Orson (from Garfield/US Acres) as Farmer Trotter (cameo)
  • Everyone else as Themselves

Episodes

  1. Homer's Forest
  2. The Trouble with Mud
  3. No Joke for Schemer
  4. RS Mr. Conductor, Bart and the Post
  5. Trust RS Mr. Conductor
  6. Meg
  7. Grandpa Dave's Tightrope
  8. Edd, Sunshine and the Really Useful Party
  9. Buzz Buzz

Transcript

Homer's Forest

Narrator: "Homer Simpson has lived in TV Land for many years. He wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He likes every part of it. From the fields filled with flowers to the white sandy beaches. But there is one place that Homer always enjoyed visiting more than any other. His driver knew this too."

Homer's Driver: "Come on, Homer."

Narrator: "He would sometimes say."

Homer's Driver: "We've made good time today. We'll stop for a while by the forest."

Narrator: "Homer loved it here. The forest was full of broad oaks and tall pines.

Homer could remember the day long ago where he and Grandpa Dave brought some new trees to be planted and Scooby Doo and Sunshine helped haul them into place. Now he could see the trees growing amongst the others on the hillside. Homer always felt better for being here. He couldn't really explain why, but his driver understood."

Homer's Driver: "It's peaceful."

Narrator: "He said to Homer.

But one night, everything changed. The TV characters were resting in the house."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Listen."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Can you hear a strange whistling sound?"

Grandpa Dave: "It's the wind blowing outside our house."

Narrator: "Replied Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "But I've never heard it like this before."

Schemer: "Do you know?"

Narrator: "Added Schemer."

Schemer: "If Garfield wasn't here now, I'd say it was him thundering by with the express flowers."

Narrator: "All the TV characters laughed, except Homer."

Homer: "I hope the wind won't harm the forest."

Narrator: "By morning, the fierce winds had gone, but the damage was done. Homer's driver came to see him in the house."

Homer's Driver: "Trees have fallen on the path. We must help clear the path."

Narrator: "Mario set off with the breakdown crane, and Homer followed.

Trees lay everywhere. The hillside now looked so bare. Homer felt sad."

Homer: "What will happen to all the animals who live here?"

Narrator: "He thought.

When Homer's wagons were full of logs, he took them to the timber mill where they would be turned into furniture and other things. Homer was glad the wood was being put to good use, but he was still sorry to lose part of his forest."

Grandpa Dave: "Oh dear."

Narrator: "Sighed Grandpa Dave to RS Mr. Conductor."

Grandpa Dave: "I wish there was something we can do to make things better again."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Yes, indeed."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "But what? We can't mend broken trees."

Narrator: "Grandpa Dave puffed slowly into the yard."

Mayor Adam West: "Hello, Grandpa Dave."

Narrator: "Said Mayor Adam West."

Mayor Adam West: "You do look glum."

Grandpa Dave: "I'm sad about the trees."

Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "And so is Homer. The forest is a special place to him. Now some of it is gone."

Mayor Adam West: "We'll soon put that right. I have an important job for you, Grandpa Dave. I would like you to take some wagons to the forest."

Narrator: "When the wagons arrived, Grandpa Dave was delighted. They were full of splendid young trees all ready for planting."

Grandpa Dave: "This is the best job I've ever had."

Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave happily.

When Homer returned, he was most surprised. There were Scooby Doo and Sunshine busily helping the workmen clear the torn stumps and branches."

Scooby Doo: "Look, Homer."

Narrator: "Called Scooby Doo."

Scooby Doo: "We're beginning again. The hillside will look better than ever before. You'll see."

Narrator: "Now Homer can see the new trees growing strong and tall, and the animals are coming back. Sometimes, everywhere is very quiet. And other times, Homer could hear leaves rustling, or a bird's wing brushing the air. Often he can hear the distance sound of children laughing. And always, he is happy here."

The Trouble with Mud

Narrator: "One morning, RS Mr. Conductor was being cleaned when Garfield arrived. Mud had blown all over his smart orange fur."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Hello Garfield."

Narrator: "Called RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "You look as if you've had a mudbath. Be a sensible cat. Have a shower instead."

Narrator: "Garfield snorted."

Garfield: "I haven't time to dawdle over my appearance like fussy conductors do."

Narrator: "The wind blew stronger."

Garfield's Driver: "Whew, Garfield, slow down!"

Narrator: "Called his driver. This made Garfield crosser still."

Garfield: "I'll be dirty and late, dirty and late!"

Narrator: "He hissed.

At the next station was a sign: "All TV Characters Must Wash Down Daily".

Schemer had just finished being cleaned."

Garfield's Driver: "Come on, Garfield."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Garfield's Driver: "You'll feel better after a good hose down."

Garfield: "Pah!"

Narrator: "Said Garfield, and angrily shook his body."

Garfield's Driver: "You're a very naughty cat!"

Narrator: "Said Garfield's driver."

Garfield's Driver: "Now Schemer will need another shower. You'll have to wait your turn till later."

Garfield: "Good riddance!"

Narrator: "Huffed Garfield."

Garfield: "I'm far too busy to waste time with water."

Narrator: "He finished his journey safely and arrived at the big station. Mayor Adam West was waiting, so were Garfield's flowers and the passengers."

Mayor Adam West: "Goodness gracious!"

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "You can't take the flowers. Homer will have to do it. Garfield, you'd better get cleaned straight away."

Narrator: "Garfield was soon being washed."

Garfield: "Mind my eyes!"

Narrator: "He grumbled.

Then he pulled goombas for the rest of the day."

Narrator: "He bumped them hard."

Garfield: "That's for you, and you, and you!"

Schemer: "Goombas will be goombas."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Garfield: "They won't with me."

Narrator: "Snorted Garfield."

Garfield: "I'll teach them!"

Narrator: "Schemer got ready to take the express when Garfield returned."

Garfield: "Be careful."

Narrator: "Warned Garfield."

Garfield: "The hills are slippery and you may need help."

Schemer: "I don't need help on hills."

Narrator: "Replied Schemer huffily."

Schemer: "Garfield thinks he knows everything."

Narrator: "Earlier a storm had swept Garfield's hill, blowing leaves onto the road, which made it slippery.

Even though the storm had passed, the hill was still difficult to climb. Schemer knew this.

The signal showed clear, and Schemer began to go faster."

Schemer: "I'll do it, I'll do it."

Narrator: "He puffed.

Halfway up, he was not so sure."

Schemer: "I must do it, I must do it!"

Narrator: "But his feet slipped on the leaves. He couldn't pull the line at all."

Schemer: "Help, help!"

Narrator: "Whistled Schemer. His feet were moving forward, but the heavy flowers pulled him backwards.

The whole line started slipping down the hill. His driver put on the brakes. Then carefully, he stopped the line.

Garfield saw everything."

Garfield: "Ah well, we live and learn. Never mind, little Schemer, I'm going to push behind."

Narrator: "Clouds of smoke and steam towered above the snorting TV Characters."

Schemer: "We can do it!"

Narrator: "Puffed Schemer."

Garfield: "We will do it!"

Narrator: "Puffed Garfield.

At last, they reached the top."

Schemer: "Peep, peep! Thank you. Goodbye."

Narrator: "Whistled Schemer."

Garfield: "Goodbye."

Narrator: "Answered Garfield.

That night, Mayor West came to see the TV Characters."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Please, sir."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Can Garfield take flowers again now?"

Mayor Adam West: If you understand that having a washdown is essential to every TV Character, then yes, Garfield, you may."

Garfield: "Thank you."

Narrator: "Grunted Garfield. The other TV Characters settled happily to sleep."

Garfield: "Dirty or clean, I'm a famous cat."

Narrator: "Murmured Garfield. But no one heard but him."

No Joke for Schemer

Narrator: "Schemer is a mixed-traffic man. He can take both goombas and flowers. He's proud of his smart clothes, and so is his driver."

Schemer's Driver: "Everyone says you brighten up their day, Schemer."

Narrator: "One morning, Schemer whistled loudly at the other TV characters."

Schemer: "Look at me! I am the smartest, most useful TV character on the path!"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "We're all useful! Mayor Adam West says so, and he's head of the whole land."

Bart: "You know what, Schemer?"

Narrator: "Added Bart."

Schemer: "What?"

Narrator: "Replied Schemer."

Bart: "You're getting all puffed up."

Narrator: "Schemer huffed away.

Later, he was still boasting."

Schemer: "I'm the pride of the path."

Garfield: "I saw you taking goombas. You're only a goods man."

Narrator: "Snorted Garfield. Schemer was furious."

Schemer: "I take flowers too!"

Garfield: "Not as mush as I do."

Narrator: "Grunted Garfield."

Schemer: "Mayor West has plans for me."

Narrator: "Schemer was only making this up, but Garfield believed him."

Garfield: "What plans?"

Schemer: "Ah, wait and see.

Oh dear."

Narrator: "He thought."

Schemer: "Now what'll I do?"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was arranging shiny new flowers."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Good morning, Schemer."

Schemer: "Are those flowers for me?"

Narrator: "Asked Schemer hopefully."

RS Mr. Conductor: "No. These are for Garfield's express. I'll fetch your goombas next."

Narrator: "But Schemer was going to play a trick on the other TV characters."

Schemer: "Actually, RS Mr. Conductor, I'm taking the flowers. Mayor West asked me to tell you."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What about the goombas?"

Narrator: "Asked RS Mr. Conductor."

Schemer: "Ah, give them Garfield."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Come on, RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Orders are orders."

Narrator: "So when Schemer's driver returned, Schemer was hooked up to the flowers and he puffed away.

RS Mr. Conductor returned with the goombas. A few minutes later, Garfield arrived."

Garfield: "Where's the express?"

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor told him about Schemer."

RS Mr. Conductor: "And so here are your goombas."

Narrator: "Garfield was very cross, and so was his driver."

Garfield's Driver: "Wait till Mayor Adam West hears about this!"

Narrator: "Meanwhile, Schemer was enjoying himself enormously."

Schemer: "What a clever plan, what a clever plan!"

Narrator: "He chuffed.

Then he saw Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "Some jokes are funny, but not this one, Schemer. You have caused confusion!"

Schemer: "Yes, sir."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Mayor Adam West: "You will stay in your house until you are wanted!"

Narrator: "The other TV characters teased Schemer."

Garfield: "I wonder who'll be pulling the express today."

Narrator: "Said Garfield."

Homer: "I expect it'll be you."

Narrator: "Replied Homer."

Homer: "Schemer is stuck in his house for being silly."

Narrator: "Schemer felt sad.

Next morning, he went back to work."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Hello."

Narrator: "Whistled RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Good to see you out and about again."

Schemer: "I'm sorry I tricked you."

Narrator: "Said Schemer."

Schemer: "Are these my goombas?"

RS Mr. Conductor: "Yes."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor kindly."

RS Mr. Conductor: "They are pleased to have you back."

Narrator: "Schemer puffed into the harbor with his line of goombas. He bustled about all day, pushing and pulling them into place."

Schemer's Driver: "Time to go home now, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said his driver at last."

Schemer's Driver: "No goombas or passengers, just we two."

Narrator: "But his driver was wrong."

Eustace: "Excuse me."

Narrator: "Called a man."

Eustace: "I have a meeting with Mayor West and I mustn't be late. May I come back with you?"

Schemer's Driver: "Of course."

Narrator: "Replied Schemer's driver. Then he whispered to Schemer."

Schemer's Driver: "This gentleman is a town inspector."

Narrator: "Schemer was most impressed.

He walked along the path as smoothly and quickly as he could

Mayor West was waiting on the platform, and the town inspector greeted them warmly."

Eustace: "This clever man gave me a splendid walk. You must be proud of him."

Mayor Adam West: "Yes, indeed. Schemer, once again you are a Really Useful Man."

RS Mr. Conductor, Bart and the Post

Narrator: "At night, when the other TV characters are tucked away in the houses, you can still hear the faraway call of a TV character, and the sound of feet moving.

This is the sound of the post delivery. One set of post is delivered by RS Mr. Conductor, and the other by Bart, as the loads are too heavy for one TV character to do the work alone. The post is given to goombas at both the harbors, and the TV characters pull their line through the silent stations delivering their precious loads.

On a clear night, a big shiny moon brightens their journey, but often RS Mr. Conductor and Bart can't even see the stars. But whatever the weather, lamps along the path always light their way.

One night, Bart was waiting at the junction. The main path line was late. At last, Homer arrived."

Homer: "Sorry."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Homer: "The mail boat from the mainland was delayed."

Bart's Driver: "Come on, Bart."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Bart's Driver: "Let's make up for lost time."

Narrator: "Bart puffed along as quickly as he could, but the sun was already rising as he finished his work."

Bart: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Thought Bart."

Bart: "It's nice to be up and about when it's the start of a new day and there's no one else around."

Narrator: "Bart was not alone for long."

Bart: "Bother!"

Narrator: "Thought Bart."

Bart: "It's that dizzy thing, Budgie."

Budgie: "Good morning."

Narrator: "Whirled Budgie."

Budgie: "I always said roads were out of date, but you're so slow with the post. You should give everyone their stamps back posthaste."

Narrator: "Bart was too tired to explained."

Bart: "Bird brain!"

Narrator: "He muttered."

Spike: "Good morning, Bart."

Narrator: "Called Spike."

Spike: "You're up early."

Bart: "No, you're wrong."

Narrator: "Sighed Bart."

Bart: "I'm back tired and late."

Narrator: "He rolled into the house and fell asleep almost before his back touched the bad.

His driver decided to set off early that evening. RS Mr. Conductor was waiting at the station."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Thank goodness I have a chance to speak to you. Driver says that the person in charge of the post has complained to Mayor Adam West about the delay last night."

Bart: "But that wasn't my fault."

Narrator: "Replied Bart."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I know."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "And so does Mayor West, but this post person wouldn't listen. Tonight, we'll just have to be quicker than ever before."

Narrator: "The TV characters were just leaving the station when they heard a familiar buzzing."

Budgie: "I say you two, there's news flying about."

Bart: "Where?"

Narrator: "Puffed Bart."

Budgie: "All over the place. They're going to scrap your mail deliveries and use me instead. Wings work wonders, you know. Always."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Huffed RS Mr. Conductor.

That night, everything ran like clockwork. RS Mr. Conductor and Bart went through the stations, making good time everywhere they went.

At a station, RS Mr. Conductor saw a man looking cold and worried. He had missed his ride home."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "We can give you a ride."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor's driver."

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "But it'll be rather uncomfortable."

Eustace: "Thank you."

Narrator: "Said the man."

Eustace: "Anything's better than sitting here."

Narrator: "The next afternoon, Bart past the airfield and saw Budgie."

Bart: "Hello, lazy wings. Are you too tired to fly today?"

Budgie: "The wind's too strong. I've been grounded."

Narrator: "Grumbled Budgie."

Bart: "You need roads."

Narrator: "Laughed Bart."

Bart: "They work wonders, you know. Always."

Narrator: "That night, Mayor Adam West showed the two TV characters a letter. It was from the man who had missed his ride."

Mayor Adam West: "He thinks you are both splendid."

Narrator: "Said Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "And everyone says that the post delivery is the pride of the path."

Trust RS Mr. Conductor

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was feeling bright and cheerful. It was a splendid day."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Good morning!"

Narrator: "He whistled to some cows, but the cows didn't reply."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Never mind."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "They're busy with their breakfast."

Narrator: "Next, he saw Ten Cents."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Hello, Ten Cents. Care for a race today?"

Narrator: "But all Ten Cents could say was,"

Ten Cents: "Ouch! That's another bump in the river."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'm sorry, Ten Cents."

Narrator: "Smiled RS Mr. Conductor.

RS Mr. Conductor was still in good spirits when Ten Cents arrived at the next station."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Bad luck, Ten Cents."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Now if you're a conductor, you would run a reliable path."

Ten Cents: "Huh!"

Narrator: "Replied Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "TV Land was suppose to deliver water for the rivers two weeks ago. You can't trust thing that runs on paths."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I run on a path. You can trust me, Ten Cents. I see if I can find out what's happened."

Narrator: "And RS Mr. Conductor left Ten Cents and made his way along the branch path towards the big station by the sea.

Schemer was snorting about in the yard."

Schemer: "It's too bad! Bart goes to work at the harbor and I do his jobs, here, there and everywhere! Take that!"

Goombas: "Ooh!"

Narrator: "Groaned the goombas."

Goombas: "Just you wait. We'll show you."

Narrator: "Garfield laughed."

Garfield: "I'll tell you what, Schemer. If you pretended to be ill everywhere, you couldn't arrange goombas here, or go to the quarry there, could you?"

Schemer: "What a good idea!"

Narrator: "Agreed Schemer."

Schemer: "Look, here comes RS Mr. Conductor. I'll start pretending now."

Narrator: "RS Mr. Conductor was sorry to see the TV characters looking miserable."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Cheer up. It's a beautiful day."

Garfield: "Yes."

Narrator: "Grumbled Garfield."

Garfield: "But not for Schemer."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What's the matter?"

Garfield: "He's sick."

Narrator: "Replied Garfield."

Schemer: "Yes, he is. I mean, I am."

Narrator: "Stuttered Schemer."

Schemer: "I don't feel well at all."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor kindly."

RS Mr. Conductor: "I'll help out if you're ill."

Narrator: "Garfield and Schemer sniggered quietly to each other.

Some of Schemer's goombas were given to RS Mr. Conductor, and he went to the quarry. The goombas were still cross."

Goombas: "We couldn't pay Schemer back for bumping us, so we'll play tricks on RS Mr. Conductor instead. One TV character is as good as another."

Narrator: "But RS Mr. Conductor didn't hear them. He collected all the stone from the quarry and set off back to the junction.

Danger lay ahead."

Goombas: "Now for our plan."

Narrator: "Giggled the goombas."

Goombas: "Go faster, go faster!"

RS Mr. Conductor's Driver: "Slow down!"

Narrator: "Called RS MR. Conductor's driver, and applied the brakes.

(CRASH!)

Poor RS Mr. Conductor stood dazed and surprised in a muddy pond, as a toad eyed him suspiciously."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Bust my hands."

Narrator: "Muttered RS Mr. Conductor."

RS Mr. Conductor: "The day started so well, too."

Narrator: "Spike pulled away the goombas, and Edd helped RS Mr. Conductor back to the junction.

Suddenly, RS Mr. Conductor remembered the missing water. He told Edd all about it."

Edd: "That's strange."

Narrator: "Said Edd."

Edd: "A tanker full of water has been left at my station. That must be it. Driver will make sure it gets to Ten Cents now."

Narrator: "Later, Schemer spoke to RS Mr. Conductor."

Schemer: "I'm sorry about your accident."

Narrator: "He muttered."

Schemer: "And so is Garfield. We didn't mean to get you into trouble."

Garfield: "No, indeed."

Narrator: "Spluttered Garfield."

Garfield: "A mere misunderstanding, RS Mr. Conductor. All's well that ends well."

Narrator: "Just then, Ten Cents arrived. He looked much more cheerful."

Ten Cents: "My river's being mended now."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Oh, I am glad."

Narrator: "Replied RS Mr. Conductor."

Ten Cents: "Thanks for all you did. Now I know I can trust a conductor, especially if his name is RS Mr. Conductor."

Narrator: "Garfield and Schemer puffed silently away to the house, but RS Mr. Conductor still had company."

RS Mr. Conductor: "Well, well."

Narrator: "He sighed."

RS Mr. Conductor: "What a day for surprises."

Narrator: "The toad, who was looking forward to a ride home, noisily agreed."

Meg

Narrator: "Meg is a teenage girl who works for the quarry company, arranging goombas in their sidings. She has a pink shirt and hat.

Meg is young, and full of her own ideas. She loves rearranging things, too, and began putting Grandpa Dave's goombas in different places every day. This made Grandpa Dave cross."

Grandpa Dave: "Goombas,"

Narrator: "He grumbled,"

Grandpa Dave: "should be where you want them, when you want them!"

Meg: "Fiddlesticks!"

Narrator: "Said Meg, and flounced away.

At last, Grandpa Dave lost patience."

Grandpa Dave: "I can't waste time playing 'Hunt the Goombas' with you, take them yourself!"

Narrator: "Meg was pleased. Taking goombas made her feel important.

At the station, Mr. Burns oiled up to her."

Meg: "Grandpa Dave's an old fusspot!"

Narrator: "She complained.

Mr. Burns sensed trouble, and was delighted.

Meg: "Grandpa Dave says only aardvarks can manage goombas!"

Narrator: "Continued Meg."

Mr. Burns: "How absurd."

Narrator: "Squirmed Mr. Burns."

Mr. Burns: "Depend upon it, Meg, anything aardvarks can do, we humans can do better."

Narrator: "Mr. Burns knew nothing about goombas, but Meg didn't realize this.

Grandpa Dave's line crosses the main road behind the station, and for a short way, follows a farm lane. Frosty weather makes the muddy lane rock-hard and very slippery.

Grandpa Dave stops before reaching the line. His fireman halts the traffic at the crossing, and then he sets off again. By using the heavy goombas to push him along, he has no trouble with the frosty path in the lane. It is the only safe thing to do in this kind of weather.

Grandpa Dave warned Meg, and told her just what to do.

Meg: "I can manage, thank you."

Narrator: "She replied."

Meg: "I'm not an old fusspot like you."

Narrator: "The goombas were tired of being pushed around by Meg."

Goombas: "It's slippery."

Narrator: "They whispered."

Goombas: "Let's push her around instead. On, on, on!"

Narrator: "They yelled.

Meg took no notice. Instead, she took the goombas carefully down the lane, and stopped at the level crossing.

All traffic halted."

Meg: "One in the head for fusspot Grandpa Dave!"

Narrator: "Chortled Meg.

But Meg had stopped in the wrong place. Instead of taking Grandpa Dave's advice, she had given the goombas the chance they wanted."

Goombas: "Hold back! Hold back!"

Narrator: "They cried."

Meg: "Grrr! Up!"

Narrator: "Ordered Meg.

The goombas just laughed, and her feet stuck helplessly.

Workmen sanded the path, and tried to dig away the frozen mud, but it was no good.

Everyone was impatient."

Meg: "Grrr-agh!"

Narrator: "Wailed Meg.

Grandpa Dave was in the yard when he heard the news."

Grandpa Dave: "I warned her."

Narrator: "He fumed."

Grandpa Dave's Driver: "She's young yet,"

Narrator: "Soothed his driver."

Grandpa Dave's Driver: "And,"

Grandpa Dave: "She can manage her goombas herself!"

Narrator: "Interrupted Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave's Driver: "They're your goombas, really."

Narrator: "His driver replied."

Grandpa Dave's Driver: "Meg is supposed to stay at the quarry. If Mayor Adam West finds out..."

Grandpa Dave: "Hmmm, yes"

Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave thoughtfully. He and his driver agreed that it would be best to help Meg after all.

An angry farmer was telling Meg just what she could do with her goombas."

Grandpa Dave: "Having trouble, Meg?"

Narrator: "Chortled Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "I am surprised."

Meg: "Grrrosh!"

Narrator: "Said Meg.

With much puffing and slippery feet, Grandpa Dave pushed Meg and the goombas back. The hard work made his heart pound fiercely, and his fireman spread hot cinders to melt the frozen mud.

At last, they finished."

Grandpa Dave: "Good-bye."

Narrator: "Called Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "You'll manage now, I expect."

Narrator: "Meg didn't answer.

She took the goombas to the sheds, and scuttled home to the quarry as quickly as she could."

Grandpa Dave's Tightrope

Narrator: "One day, Bart arrived at the quarry to collect some stone for his goombas. Snow and frost lay everywhere. There was not a sound to be heard.

Bart ventured further. He found Meg, the new teenage girl, resting in the shelter of some rocks."

Bart: "Cheer up, Meg."

Narrator: "He whistled. Meg was still remembering the trouble she'd had with goombas."

Meg: "Manager says I don't listen to advice. He says I've no business jauntering down Grandpa Dave's path. Grandpa Dave's a fusspot!"

Bart: "Grandpa Dave has forgotten more about goombas than you will ever know."

Narrator: "Replied Bart."

Bart: "You must put the goombas where he wants them, then you'll be a Really Useful Teenage Girl. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take these goombas to the harbor."

Narrator: "Meg liked Bart, but she still wouldn't listen to his advice."

Meg: "Why shouldn't go on Grandpa Dave's path?"

Narrator: "The siding arrangements were awkward. To put the goombas where Grandpa Dave wanted them, Meg had to make several journeys.

She started making a plan."

Meg: "If we used the teeniest bit of Grandpa Dave's path."

Narrator: "She said to her driver."

Meg: "We would save all this bother."

Narrator: "Her driver, suspecting nothing, allowed them to go as far as the first level crossing.

A few days later, the weather changed. As the snow melted, the quarry grew busy again. Some lines were so long that Meg had to go beyond the level crossing. Now for her plan. She would go down further down the path with it seeming her fault."

Meg: "Can you keep a secret?"

Narrator: "She asked the goombas."

Goombas: "Yes, yes, yes."

Narrator: "They chattered."

Meg: "Will you bump me at the level crossing and tell no one I asked you?"

Narrator: "The goombas promised.

But while Meg was away, Grandpa Dave arrived. He decided to arrange the goombas himself. The goombas decided to bump him anyway.

They reached the level crossing and Grandpa Dave stopped. This was the signal for the goombas."

Goombas: "On, on, on!"

Narrator: "They yelled.

Grandpa Dave was away, with the goombas screaming and yelling behind him.

No one realized that melted snow had turned a stream ahead into a torrent and the bridge above it was about to collapse.

The road was now like a tightrope across the thundering water."

Grandpa Dave: "Stop, stop!"

Narrator: "Cried Grandpa Dave.

His driver fought for control. They came nearer and nearer to the bridge. The driver braked hard.

Grandpa Dave stopped, still on the path, but with his feet treading the tightrope over the abyss.

Meg was horrified, and quickly came to the rescue. Workmen anchored Grandpa Dave with chains while she pulled the goombas away. Then she helped Grandpa Dave to safety."

Meg: "I'm sorry about the goombas."

Narrator: "Said Meg."

Meg: "I can't think how you managed to stop them in time."

Grandpa Dave: "Oh well."

Narrator: "Said Grandpa Dave."

Grandpa Dave: "My driver told me about circus people who walk tightropes, but I just didn't fancy doing it myself."

Narrator: "Later, Mayor Adam West arrived."

Mayor Adam West: "A very smart piece of work."

Narrator: "He said."

Mayor Adam West: "Meg, you did well too, I hear."

Meg: "It was my fault about those goombas, sir."

Narrator: "She faulted."

Meg: "But if I could,"

Mayor Adam West: "Could what?"

Meg: "Come down the path sometimes, sir. Grandpa Dave says he'll show me what to do."

Mayor Adam West: "Certainly."

Narrator: "Replied Mayor West."

Mayor Adam West: "If your manager agrees."

Narrator: "And so it was arranged. Now Meg is as happy as can be, and Mayor West thinks she's Really Useful indeed."

Edd, Sunshine and the Really Useful Party

Narrator: "Sunshine the Star Tug is old-fashioned, but he doesn't care. He knows that he is really useful, like his friend Edd.

Early one morning, Sunshine was chuffing about the vicarage orchard. He had important news for Edd."

Sunshine: "Reverend Lovejoy says the not all children are able to have holidays by the sea, so he's having a garden party to raise money for a seaside trip. I'm going to be the star attraction."

Narrator: "Chattered Sunshine."

Sunshine: "Giving rides to all the visitors. Reverend Lovejoy is putting up posters all about it."

Edd: "I'd like to help too."

Narrator: "Sighed Edd."

Edd: "But without my road, I wouldn't be much good at a garden party."

Narrator: "It was a beautiful day, but Edd was worried."

Edd: "I wish there were something I could for the party."

Narrator: "He said."

Edd: "I'd like to be helpful like Sunshine."

Narrator: "Edd's driver laughed."

Edd's Driver: "You're helpful in your own way, and that's in TV Land."

Narrator: "Next day, it was Sunshine's turn to look disappointed. He had bad news."

Sunshine: "Reverend Lovejoy's been so busy that he forgot to put up the posters. Now no one will know about the party."

Narrator: "But Edd had an idea."

Edd: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "He said."

Edd: "Everything is going to be all right."

Narrator: "Then he explained to his driver."

Edd: "Reverend Lovejoy can paste his posters and me and my flowers, so wherever I go, they'll go too."

Edd's Driver: "Well done, Edd."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Edd's Driver: "I'm sure Mayor Adam West will agree."

Narrator: "As indeed he did.

Edd walked happily through the stations collecting his passengers."

Passengers: "Look."

Narrator: "They said."

Passengers: "Reverend Lovejoy's is holding a party. We must go to that."

Narrator: "Later, Sunshine was resting at the orchard dock when Ten Cents rolled by."

Ten Cents: "Hello, Sunshine. Why are you dozing there like an old stick-in-the-mud?"

Sunshine: "I'm not dozing. I'm resting."

Narrator: "Replied Sunshine. Then he told Ten Cents about Reverend Lovejoy's party."

Ten Cents: "I'll be there too."

Narrator: "Boasted Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "I'm not sure if people will want to ride on a little tug after traveling with a smart tug like me."

Narrator: "The party day arrived. It had rained heavily during the night, and the orchard ground was soggy."

Sunshine: "Rain and mud won't spoil my day."

Narrator: "Said Sunshine."

Lazy Luke: "No, indeed."

Narrator: "Agreed his driver."

Lazy Luke: "We'll stay on the river, then we won't get bogged down."

Narrator: "Sunshine was soon busy trundling up and down the quiet country river, carrying lots of laughing children.

He was just turning a corner when he heard Ten Cents."

Ten Cents: "Hello, old-timer. I'm taking everyone to the party. Edd's idea is really working."

Narrator: "Sunshine gave Ten Cents a cheerful whistle and turned back towards the orchard.

Then there was trouble."

Ten Cents: "Help, I'm stuck!"

Narrator: "Shouted Ten Cents. His hull had sunk deep in the mud patch. Scooby Doo the Dog arrived just in time."

Scooby Doo: "I'm the one who helps plow fields."

Narrator: "Laughed Scooby Doo."

Scooby Doo: "We'd better get you out."

Narrator: "Using strong ropes, Scooby Doo and Sunshine pulled Ten Cents clear of the mud."

Sunshine: "This will teach Ten Cents a thing or two."

Narrator: "Sunshine chuffered to himself.

At last, Ten Cents was on the river again."

Ten Cents: "Thank you, Sunshine."

Narrator: "He laughed."

Ten Cents: "You're not a stick-in-the-mud at all."

Sunshine: "No."

Narrator: "Smiled Sunshine."

Sunshine: "But you were, just for a little while."

Narrator: "That evening, Reverend Lovejoy arrived to see Edd and his driver."

Reverend Lovejoy: "Thanks to your good idea about the posters, hundreds of people paid to come to the party. We've raised lots of money for the children."

Narrator: "Edd was very pleased, and Sunshine fell happily asleep thinking of all the children who would now get to the seaside at last."

Buzz Buzz

Narrator: "Sunshine the Star Tug was enjoying his work in the vicarage orchard. Birds were singing, and apples were ripening on the trees. It was a lovely day."

Schemer: "Hello, Sunshine."

Narrator: "Said Schemer.

Schemer: "You look as bright and cheerful as my clothes."

Sunshine: "Oh, I am."

Narrator: "Replied Sunshine."

Schemer: "What's that noise?"

Narrator: "Asked Schemer."

Sunshine: "It's the bees.

Narrator: "Laughed Sunshine."

Sunshine: "They're all in these boxy things called beehives. I'm taking them to the station. Reverend Lovejoy says his bees make good honey, and he's giving some of them to his friends."

Narrator: "Just then, Roger Baxter hummed in."

Roger Baxter: "Take care, you two. Don't make the bees angry. They might sting you."

Narrator: "Schemer didn't like being told what to do by a Baxter, and he buzzed away."

Roger Baxter: "Goodbye, Sunshine."

Narrator: "Called Roger, and set off to see Spike at the next station.

Tex and Rex, the cowboy twins, were busy arranging goombas, but they scampered off when they saw Roger."

Roger Baxter: "I remember the first time I met those two."

Narrator: "Laughed Roger."

Roger Baxter: "They nearly made my eyes pop out. Edd soon put a stop to their games."

Spike: "Edd is the only one who can keep Tex and Rex in order."

Narrator: "Chuckled Spike."

Spike: "I sometimes call them 'The Bees'."

Roger Baxter: "A good name."

Narrator: "Replied Roger."

Roger Baxter: "They're terrors when they start buzzing around."

Narrator: "Schemer bustled in."

Schemer: "What's that, Spike?

Narrator: "He snorted."

Schemer: "Are you afraid of bees? They're only insects, after all, so don't let that buzzbox man tell you different."

Spike: "His name is Roger Baxter, and he didn't. We..."

Schemer: "I wouldn't care.

Narrator: "Interrupted Schemer."

Schemer: "If hundreds were swarming around. I'd just blow at them and make them buzz off."

Spike: "Buzz buzz buzz."

Narrator: "Retorted Spike.

The next morning, Schemer arrived at the station to collect his flowers. The passengers were excited, and keen to get on board. The platform was crowded, and the porter was in a hurry."

Porter: "Mind your backs."

Narrator: "He shouted.

Then, there was trouble. The beehive fell and broke open.

The station cleared like magic.

Schemer heard a familiar buzzing. The bees were too cold to be cross, so they buzzed around the fireman, hoping he'd mend their hive, but he didn't understand, nor did his driver, so the bees turned to Schemer. His body was nice and warm."

Schemer: "Buzz off! Buzz off!"

Narrator: "Hissed Schemer.

One bee burnt his foot."

Bee: "Ooh, aah, ooh! ooh!"

Narrator: "The bee thought Schemer burnt him on purpose.

So it stung Schemer right back on the nose."

Schemer: "EEEE!"

Narrator: "Whistled Schemer. He had had enough. So had his fireman and driver.

They didn't notice till too late that they had left all of their flowers behind. They tried everything to get rid of the bees.

First, they spun around on the turntable, but to no avail.

They tried washing them off, but the bees clung harder to Schemer's warm body.

Then they tried smoking them off by going through a long tunnel, but still, the bees wouldn't go away.

Schemer's Driver: "It's no good, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Schemer's Driver: "We'll just have to go back to the orchard, and fetch another hive."

Narrator: "Schemer's reply was drowned by the sound of buzzing.

Reverend Lovejoy was waiting anxiously for Schemer.

When he arrived, the bees swarmed straight into their new home."

Schemer's Driver: "Come on, Schemer."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Schemer's Driver: "What you need now is a good hose-down."

Narrator: "Later that day, Schemer was resting in his house, when Reverend Lovejoy came to see him."

Reverend Lovejoy: "Thank you for saving my bees."

Narrator: "He said."

Reverend Lovejoy: "It's a pity it's not Christmas; then we could call you Schemer the Red-Nosed Man!"

Narrator: "Everyone laughed, even Schemer. But instead, they decided to call Schemer 'The Bees' Knees', which means they thought he was more useful than ever."

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