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Two Idiots and A Baby is the fourth episode of Mr. Conductor Meets Drake and Josh.

Plot

  • Nikki and her family arrive to see Drake, Josh and the YTV characters and Ash agrees to go to the activity with Nikki tonight. As the others are left in charge of Ruby and Brianna, things go awry when Brianna starts to cry loudly, and to make matters worse Ruby, Richie, George, Misty and Lexi get into a fierce argument. Dr. Anna and Dr. Proctor luckily arrive to calm Brianna down with a lullaby. As Ash and Nikki return, everything is back to normal.

Shows as Characters

  1. Shining Time Station
  2. Drake and Josh
  3. Pokemon
  4. Mucha Lucha
  5. Hoop-a-Joop
  6. Soaping Water
  7. Cardcaptors
  8. The New Adventures of Winnie The Pooh
  9. What's New, Scooby-Doo?
  10. The Replacements
  11. Yu-Gi-Oh!
  12. Megaman NT Warrior
  13. Jackie Chan Adventures
  14. Marilyn
  15. Static Shock
  16. Phantom Investigators
  17. The Mummy: The Animated Series
  18. Jumanji
  19. Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers
  20. The Emperor's New School
  21. The 7D
  22. The Adventures of Julie Kane
  23. Living The Life With The Stereotypes
  24. Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil
  25. Gravity Falls
  26. Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja
  27. The Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries
  28. Tom and Jerry Tales
  29. Star Versus The Forces of Evil
  30. Tetris Attack
  31. Ozzy and Drix
  32. Penn Zero: Part Time Hero
  33. Sonic X
  34. Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V
  35. Fluffy Gardens
  36. Star Fox
  37. Donkey Kong Country
  38. WarioWare: The Animated Series
  39. Courage The Cowardly Dog
  40. Friends Forever
  41. Sea Princesses
  42. The Wasp
  43. The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest
  44. Captain Simian and The Space Monkeys
  45. Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron
  46. Street Fighter Alpha: The Series
  47. X-Men Evolution
  48. Tiny Toon Adventures
  49. Xiaolin Showdown
  50. Loonatics Unleashed

Thomas Stories

  1. Twin Trouble
  2. Buffer Bother

Trivia

  • No Monsters or culprits are seen in this episode.
  • The Maxwell Family make an appearance.
  • Brianna's cries are the same as Bowser Jr.'s from Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour and Mario Kart: Double Dash.
  • Song that Ash and Nikki dance to during The Hex Girls' Activity: The Potential Breakup Song by Aly and A.J. Michalka (covered by The Hex Girls).
  • End Theme: Pokemon Advanced theme song.

Transcript

  • (We open this episode with the Drake and Josh theme song called Found A Way)
  • Chorus: I never thought that it'd be so simple but I found a way, I found a way I always thought that it'd be too crazy but I found a way, I found a way If you open up your mind See what's inside It's gonna take some time, to realize But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find Over your shoulder you know that, I told you I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down So just turn around Now that I know that anything's possible I found a way, I found a way No one can break what is so unbreakable I found a way, I found a way If you open up your mind See what's inside It's gonna take some time, to realize But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find Over your shoulder you know that, I told you I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down So just turn around No one cares What you give You know you gotta live like you wanna live When it's time To be free You know you gotta be what you wanna be If you open up your mind See what's inside It's gonna take some time, to realize But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find Over your shoulder you know that, I told you I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down So just turn around.
  • (We then find the gang at the Parker-Nichols Household)
  • Drake: What we're meeting now are The Maxwell Family.
  • Josh: Yes indeed.
  • Ash: I'm psyched about Nikki.
  • Francesca: She has the same name as one of Sakura's classmates.
  • Omi: It's always important to keep an eye on a sitter.
  • Kimiko: And we have to mean it.
  • Amy: I seem to have Alissa and Ramona as my sisters.
  • Mel: I have Lori and Anna, too.
  • Meilin: You and Mr. Lovable are a good pair.
  • Chelsea: Of course.
  • Scooby: Rikki and her family will see us right now.
  • Shaggy: Like, here they come!
  • (Nikki and her family arrive)
  • Nikki and her Family: Hi, guys!
  • Ash: (squealing like a fan girl) It's Nikki Maxwell!
  • (He dashes all the way to her)
  • Nikki: It's been a long time, Ash Ketchum.
  • Ash: Can I attend the activity that the Hex Girls are holding?
  • Nikki: Certainly.
  • Ash: Yippee!
  • Mary: What's with Ash?
  • Fabiana: I guess he's in heaven.
  • (That night, Ash and Nikki have worn their dance outfits)
  • Ash: I look fancy in my tuxedo.
  • Nikki: And my dress, too.
  • Malinda: So you two are heading for the ball.
  • Tuesday: We wish you both good luck.
  • Ash: We will!
  • Nikki: Take care of Ruby and Brianna!
  • (They head off to the activity)
  • Chip: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
  • Dale: It's babysitting time!
  • Brianna: Humph!
  • Brad: What's with you, Dill Weed?
  • Brittany: Are you jealous of Nikki?
  • Brianna: Yes! I can't stand it against her!
  • Alex: Whoa!
  • Peter: You mean your sister?!
  • Brianna: Yes! And I wouldn't stand against Ruby either!
  • Randy: Oh, come on! We're trying to babysit you!
  • Howard: We don't want to expect a spoiled brat like someone to get rid of.
  • Brianna: Grr! That does it! You guys are nothing but a bunch of cowards!
  • Paolo and Tooty: Cowards?!
  • (Brianna whimpers, starts crying like a loud siren and throws a loud tantrum)
  • Sophia: YOW! My ears!
  • Sonic: Somebody make her stop!
  • Felicia: You're getting us in pain!
  • Ruby: Oh, keep your stupid mouth shut, would ya?!
  • Richie: No, Ruby! We're all ending up in trouble if you don't get a proper excuse!
  • Ruby: What did you say?!
  • George: Cause I hate your Gothic looks!
  • Ruby: You insensitive little showoffs, you'll soon pay!
  • (They all glare at each other while growling)
  • Piglet: G-guys stop!
  • Bumpty: Don't just stand there!
  • Dipper: Take it easy, please!
  • Richie, George and Ruby: (kicking them away) Leave us alone!
  • Misty: See, Lexi?! They're arguing about Nikki!
  • Lexi: Well, Misty, you must have learned to get a lame old problem in the first place!
  • (They both glare at each other while growling)
  • Donkey Kong: Girls, stop it!
  • Chuck: Please, cut it out!
  • Misty and Lexi: (pushing them away) Back right off, would ya?!
  • (Upstairs, The Flea, Danger, Hope and Amethyst are hearing the noises and they wouldn't sleep)
  • Flea: The Flea can't stand it against these awful noises!
  • Danger: And neither do I!
  • (The Conductors appear)
  • Mr. Conductor 1: What's wrong, you guys?
  • Hope: Don't you get it, Mr. Conductors 1, 2 and 3? Brianna is crying like a little baby!
  • Mr. Conductor 3: Oh my!
  • Amethyst: And it's all because Ruby, Richie, George, Misty and Lexi are arguing about!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: That happened the same thing to Donald and Douglas. Let me explain.
  • (Mr. Conductor 2 blows his whistle and Twin Trouble starts)
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Donald and Douglas are scottish twin engines. They are practical peppery and proud. They nearly always work together. One day, Donald and Douglas were chuffing through the countryside hauling a heavy load. Down the line, Trevor the Traction Engine had been struggling with a big cartload of hay. Crossing the tracks, the cart's wheels have broken off. Then Trevor heard a whistle.
  • Trevor: Oh no!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Trevor cried. Donald could see the cart.
  • Donald: Stop!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He cried. Donald's driver applied the brakes, but it was too late. Luckily, no one was hurt.
  • Donald: Stop being pushy.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Donald snapped.
  • Douglas: Don't call me pushy.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Douglas snapped back.
  • Donald: You shouldn't have pushed me into the cart.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Huffed Donald.
  • Douglas: You pulled me you mean.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Argued Douglas.
  • Donald: Didn't!
  • Douglas: Did!
  • Donald: Did not!
  • Douglas: Did too!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Before long the track was cleared and Donald and Douglas were on their way. The twins were so cross they refuse to speak to each other for the rest of the day. The next day, Sir Topham Hatt needed an engine to help Duck at the smelter's yards.
  • Donald: May I go, sir?
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Donald eagerly.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: I only need one engine.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Sir Topham Hatt.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Not two.
  • Donald: I am only one engine, sir.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Donald.
  • Donald: And I would like to help with Duck.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Sir Topham Hatt was surprised but agreed. Thomas was worried.
  • Thomas: Won't you miss one another?
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He asked.
  • Thomas: I know I missed Annie and Clarabel.
  • Douglas: I'll work better on my own.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Sniffed Douglas.
  • Donald: I have work to do.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Huffed Donald. At first, Donald enjoyed working with Duck. Then, things started to go wrong.
  • Donald: Did you shunt those freight cars on the other line?
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Donald asked.
  • Duck: You said you wanted them on the other line.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Duck replied.
  • Donald: Not that other line, the other other line.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Donald was cross.
  • Donald: Douglas would have known what I've meant.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He huffed. Douglas was working on his own. He chuffed dutifully through the beautiful countryside. But Douglas had no one to share it with. Altough he tried not to he was beginning to miss his twin. That night, Douglas' Driver took him to see Donald.
  • Douglas: I was just passing.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Douglas.
  • Donald: Have you come to say you're sorry?
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Donald sniffed. This made Douglas very cross.
  • Douglas: I've nothing to be sorry for.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He said and steamed away in a huff. The next day, Donald was in a bad mood. Duck could see he was getting too close for the buffers.
  • Duck: Look out!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Duck shouted, but it was too late. Donald's driver was very cross.
  • Donald's Driver: This would've happened if you were working with Douglas.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He said. Donald knew he was right and Duck knew he couldn't pull Donald back onto the rails. So he went for help. Douglas was sadly finishing his work as Duck steamed into the depot.
  • Duck: Donald is in trouble.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Duck.
  • Douglas: Donald in trouble?
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Douglas cried.
  • Douglas: I'm on my way!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: And he steamed off as fast as he could. Douglas struggled and struggled, he finally pulled his twin gently back on to the tracks. He was relief Donald wasn't hurt.
  • Donald: Thank you.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Donald said.
  • Donald: And I'm sorry.
  • Douglas: No, I'm sorry.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Douglas.
  • Donald: I'm sorry.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Insisted Donald.
  • Duck: Don't argue about who's sorry.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Chuckled Duck.
  • Duck: Just be glad you're back together.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: And they were.
  • (Twin Trouble ends)
  • Mr. Conductor 2: So remember, friendships will always get in an engine's way.
  • Flea: The Flea knew it.
  • Danger: You'd be leaving, right?
  • The Conductors: Yep.
  • (The Conductors disappear)
  • (We find Ash and Nikki at the activity)
  • Ash: Wow!
  • Nikki: We're totally in this kind of weather.
  • (Chloe and Zoey arrive)
  • Chloe: The Hex Girls are holding an activity.
  • Zoey: Come on.
  • Ash and Nikki: Okay!
  • (Kermit and Gonzo step into the stage, just as Ash and Nikki arrive)
  • Kermit: Greetings, and welcome to the annual activity.
  • Ash: Cool!
  • Nikki: And Interesting, too!
  • Gonzo: Let's give a hearty hand to The Hex Girls, singing The Potential Breakup Song!
  • (The crowd cheers in joy as The Hex Girls arrive on stage)
  • Ash: Those are my lovers!
  • Nikki: You said it.
  • Thorn: Hit it, sisters!
  • (They all sing The Potential Breakup Song)
  • Hex Girls: It took too long It took too long It took too long for you to call back.
  • Nikki: Wow, a song!
  • Ash: May I have this dance, my lady?
  • Nikki: Surely!
  • (Ash and Nikki start dancing)
  • Hex Girls: And normally I would just forget that Except for the fact it was my birthday My stupid birthday I played along I played along I played along Rolled right off my back But obviously my armor was cracked What kind of a boyfriend would forget that? Who would forget that? The type of guy who doesn’t see What he has until she leaves Don’t let me go.
  • (Ash grabs Nikki's hands and they spin around and around)
  • Ash: This will show you how.
  • Nikki: Go on ahead.
  • (Ash let go of Nikki and he spins her around like a top)
  • Nikki: You're spinning me like fun!
  • Ash: I know!
  • (Ash and Nikki continue dancing)
  • Hex Girls: Cause without me, you know you’re lost Wise up now or pay the cost Soon you will know You’re not livin’ till you’re livin’ Livin’ with me You’re not winnin’ till you’re winnin’ Winnin’ me You’re not gettin’ till you’re gettin’ Gettin’ me You’re not livin’ till you’re livin’ Living for me This is the potential breakup song Our album needs just one Oh baby please Please tell me We got along We got along We got along until you did that Now all I want is just my stuff back Do you get that? Let me repeat that I want my stuff back You can send it in a box I don’t care just drop it off I won’t be home.
  • (Ash starts twirling Nikki)
  • Nikki: You're so handsome.
  • Ash: Of course.
  • (Ash starts spinning Nikki again, dipped her and kissed her cheek)
  • Hex Girls: Cause without me, you know you’re lost Minus you I’m better off Soon you will know You’re not livin’ till you’re livin’ Livin’ with me You’re not winnin’ till you’re winnin’ Winnin’ me You’re not gettin’ till you’re gettin’ Gettin’ to me You’re not livin’ till you’re livin’ Living for me You can try, you can try You know I know it’d be a lie Without me you’re gonna die So you better think clearly, clearly Before you nearly, nearly Mess up the situation that you're gonna miss dearly, dearly.
  • (Ash kissed Nikki's cheek again and spins her again)
  • Nikki: We're almost there.
  • Ash: Yep.
  • (Ash and Nikki continue dancing)
  • Hex Girls: C’mon You’re not livin’ till you’re livin’ (no) Livin’ with me You’re not winnin’ till you’re winnin’ (no, no, no, no) Winnin’ me You’re not gettin’ till you’re gettin’ Gettin’ me You’re not livin’ till you’re livin’ (no, no, no, no) Living for me This is the potential breakup song.
  • (Ash starts spinning Nikki again)
  • Hex Girls: Our album needs just one Oh baby please Please tell me This is the potential make-up song Please just admit you’re wrong Which will it be? Which will it be?
  • (The Potential Breakup Song ends)
  • Thorn: We did it!
  • Dusk and Luna: Woo!
  • Nikki: Oh, Ash, you're my hero!
  • (She kisses Ash on his cheek)
  • Ash: (blushing) Thank you, Nikki.
  • (Back at Drake and Josh's house, the others are still with an angry Ruby and a crying Brianna)
  • Brianna: (tearfully) I can't take it anymore! All I want is to live my life in peace!
  • (She continues to wail even louder)
  • Jade: Gosh, that Brianna is a loud crybaby.
  • Buena Girl: What are we going to do now?
  • (Dr. Anna and Dr. Proctor arrive at that moment)
  • Dr. Anna: Do we hear Brianna screaming and crying?
  • Dr. Proctor: There had been many little girls who act like that.
  • (Brock's expression turns from sad to smitten)
  • Brock: (blushing) Ah, Dr. Anna!
  • Dr. Anna: Brock?
  • Brock: (proposing to Dr. Anna) I haven't seen you for years. Can I date you again?
  • Dr. Anna: Well, I...
  • Zuzu: (pulling Brock's ear) Come on, Brock. There's no need for you to date a doctor.
  • Ferguson: Horrible news, you two. Brianna wouldn't stop crying.
  • Alfonzo: It's all because she missed Nikki.
  • Dr. Anna: (holding a crying Brianna) Are you sad about your sister?
  • Brianna: (tearfully) Yes!
  • Dr. Proctor: Well then, a lullaby will settle things right.
  • (He turns on the radio and we hear an instrumental version of Go To Sleep)
  • (Brianna stops crying and hears the song)
  • Brianna: (yawning drowsily) I think I'm getting a snooze.
  • (She falls asleep as Dr. Anna places her in bed)
  • Dribble: Phew!
  • Spitz: Thank goodness!
  • (The Conductors reappear)
  • Mr. Conductor 1: Well done, everyone!
  • Ozzy: Don't thank us, thank the doctors.
  • Drix: It was their job to calm little children down.
  • Mr. Conductor 3: Interesting.
  • Razor: And we're so glad to see everything back to normal.
  • T-Bone: Do you know about Bill and Ben?
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Of course, T-Bone. They learned about different kinds of buffers. Let me explain.
  • (Mr. Conductor 2 blows his whistle and Buffer Bother starts)
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Bill and Ben are quarry engines. They are twins. They play together, they shunt freight cars together. They even get up to naughtyness together. Whenever you find Bill you will find Ben. Whether you find Ben you will find Bill. Sir Topham Hatt had come to inspect his quarry engines. He found that Mavis and Bill were in fine working order.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Unfortunately, Ben.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Sir Topham Hatt said.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Your buffers are damaged. You must report to the engine works inmediately for a new set of buffers. Mavis you will have to work with Bill until Ben returns.
  • Mavis: Yes sir.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Mavis and Sir Topham Hatt drove away. Ben was happy.
  • Ben: I'm going to get new buffers!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He gloated to Bill.
  • Bill: Well i should get new buffers too.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Bill complained.
  • Bill: We're twins. We do everything together.
  • Ben: But you don't need new buffers.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Ben teased.
  • Bill: You're getting new buffers because you're getting clumsy.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Snorted Bill enviously.
  • Ben: No I'm not!
  • Bill: Yes you are!
  • Ben: No I'm not!
  • Bill: Yes you are!
  • Mavis: Will you two stop being crackpots?
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Mavis scolded.
  • Mavis: Now come on, Bill, we've got work to do.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Ben couldn't wait to get new buffers. Later, Bill watched as Ben chuffed away to the engine works. He was green with envy, he wanted new buffers too. Bill returned to his job but he wasn't thinking about work. All he could think about was Ben's new buffers.
  • Bill: Ooh!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Bill.
  • Bill: (sneezes)
  • Mavis: Be careful.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Mavis.
  • Mavis: And stop thinking about Ben's new buffers.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Bill tried thinking about birds, he tried thinking about trees, he tried thinking about anything but Ben and his brand new buffers. But it didn't work.
  • Bill: I want new buffers too!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He cried.
  • Mavis: Just be happy you're in good working order.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Mavis.
  • Bill: It's not fair!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Bill huffed and he weeshed soot all over Mavis.
  • Mavis: Bill!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Gasped Mavis.
  • Bill: Oops, sorry.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Bill. Bill tried his best to get with his work. But the troublesome trucks have spotted a chance for a tease.
  • Trucks: Poor poor Bill, he works, he suffers, while Ben his twin gets brand new buffers!
  • Bill: I might not have new buffers.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: He said.
  • Bill: But I still know how to biff troublesome trucks.
  • Mavis: No!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Mavis cried. But it was too late. Ben puffed into the quarry with his shiny new buffers just in time to hear...
  • Bill: Bust my buffers!
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Cried Bill.
  • Ben: I think you have.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Ben. When Sir Topham Hatt arrived and saw Bill's broken buffers, he was not happy.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: You behaved badly Bill.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Sir Topham Hatt said.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
  • Bill: Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Bill.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Before you get new buffers.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Sir Topham Hatt continued.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: I want you to think what it means to be a responsible reliable engine.
  • Bill: Yes Sir.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Answered Bill weakly. After Sir Topham Hatt left, Ben rolled up to Bill with his new buffers gleaming.
  • Bill: They are nice buffers.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Bill said.
  • Ben: Thanks.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Ben said.
  • Ben: I'm sorry I teased you.
  • Bill: That's all right.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Bill.
  • Bill: I was naughty too.
  • Ben: Of course you are.
  • Mr. Conductor 2: Said Ben.
  • Ben: We're twins.
  • (Buffer Bother ends)
  • Mr. Conductor 2: So that's why there are different buffers for the engines.
  • Alex: That's good.
  • Peter: You'd be leaving, right?
  • The Conductors: Yep.
  • (As the Conductors disappear, Ash and Nikki return)
  • Ash and Nikki: We're back!
  • Bashful: What took you two so long?
  • Doc: You loved the activity, don't you?
  • Ash: Yes indeed.
  • Nikki: This has been a success.
  • Richie: We're sorry that we argued with you, Ruby.
  • George: Can you forgive us?
  • Ruby: Apology accepted.
  • Misty: (relieved) Thank goodness everything is safe.
  • Lexi: (also relieved) I know.
  • (They both shake hands as the episode ends)
  • (Against a black background, while the end credits roll, the Pokemon Advanced end theme plays)
  • Chorus: Take a step and I'm on my way... Gonna start all over again I wanna be a Hero! (Hero!) Pokémon: Advanced! (I'm on my way!) I wanna be a Hero! (Hero!) Give me just one chance... And the future will decide... If there's a hero buried deep inside... I wanna be a Hero! Pokémon!!

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