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The War of the Asshat Rationalist
Aggression by the Christian Crusaders
The Christian Crusaders had harassed and threatened many Lunar Wars colonies on the basis that they were not Christian or openly atheist. Tension ensued and a war was about to break out. Some were not willing to stand for religious intolerance or persecution of atheists. Finally, the Soviet Federation declared war on the Christian Crusaders.
A Declaration of War
On April 12, 2007, the Soviet Federation declared war on the Christian Crusaders. The declaration of war is as follows:
- Christian Crusaders Doomed!
- It is my personal decision to not allow the Christian Crusaders to exist anymore. Christian Crusaders, you have been pwned. That is all.
The First Battle
Two attacks were made by the Soviet Federation on Perfection Valley, a colony of the Christian Crusaders. The result of both attacks wiped out the Perfection Valley's ::army, as well as Perfection Valley losing a great deal of money. Two attacks were also made on the colony of Imperija, also of the Christian Crusaders. In the first battle, the forces of the Soviet Federation were greatly outnumbered, but were victorious nonetheless. The following battle was also a defeat for Imperija, the result of both battles put the army of Imperija at one third of its former strength.
The Peoples Republic Joins the Battle
On April 12, 2007, The Peoples Republic joined the battle against the Christian Crusaders. Peoples Republic joined the battle of their own accord. Although the Peoples Republic did not issue an official declaration of war, the war proceeded.
Terms of Surrender
At 10:03PM the Soviet Federation offered the following terms of surrender for the Christian Crusaders:
- The Christian Crusaders are welcome to surrender to the colony of the Soviet Federation on the following terms:
- 1. The Soviet Federation demands that all losses from its be restored in the form of reparations, the exact amount to be posted at a later time.
- 2. The Soviet Federation demands that the Christian Crusaders publicly post an apology to every colony, by name, that they threatened.
- 3. The Soviet Federation demands that the Christian Crusaders disband, never to form again. They must publicly post this disbandment statement.
- After these conditions are met, I will accept peace with the Christian Crusaders. If these terms of surrender are not met, the war shall continue. Christian Crusaders, you have been pwned, you have 24 hours to decide your fate.
The Christian Crusaders still have yet to accept the terms of surrender.
A New Hope for Lunar Wars
The Christian Crusaders will soon be defeated, and religious intolerance will come to an end. There are many who support the struggles of the Soviet Federation and the Peoples Republic to make Lunar Wars a better community and a community free from religious intolerance and persecution.