- Jerome "Doc" Crystal as Statler (from The Muppet Show)
- Sprocket as Odie (from Garfield)
- Exterminator as Waldorf (from The Muppet Show)
- Stewie Griffin as Gobo Fraggle
- Lois Griffin as Red Fraggle
- Peter Griffin as Wembley Fraggle
- Meg Griffin as Mokey Fraggle
- Brian Griffin as Boober Fraggle
- Various Fraggles as Barney's kids (from Barney and Friends)
- Three Dozers as Barney, Baby Bop, and BJ
- Driver as Kermit the Frog
- Workers as themselves
Statler: Well, my dog is always barking down that hole. So I figured there's gotta be something in there.
Waldorf: Rats, snakes. Could be any number of reasons to overbill you, but not to worry, I've got something that'll take care of the problem. (Throws something that looks like a flashlight or lantern down the hole)
Statler: Uh, will that kill them all?
Waldorf: No, it's so I'll know where to throw this! (Throws a grenade down the hole, then ducks and covers Statler and himself)
All: (Singing) Happy, happy day, Fraggles say it's a happy day, Happy, happy day, Nothing can go wrong...(The grenade falls down into the house and explodes, causing the place to start collapsing)
Stewie Griffin: Holy crap! We gotta get outta here! RUN!!! (The place continues to collapse, and the cast runs for it until a few boulders block the way of some of the characters, and Stewie pops out of a hole, and comes out before a boulder blocks the hole)
Stewie Griffin: Oh, that's bad!
Stewie Griffin: Hey, hey! Kermit's been sending me postcards from the outer world for years. (Shows three postcards with women's butts on the printing) With their guidance, I'll find us a new Griffin's house.
Peter Griffin: WAIT! STOP!!
Stewie Griffin: What's wrong, Wembley?
Peter Griffin: I see a terrible thing coming! Fire and death! There's blood everywhere! Something very bad is coming!
Stewie Griffin: You know, you gotta work on the "pre" part of premonition, douche bag. (Kicks Peter Griffin in the crotch) In your balls!
Meg Griffin: (Kicks Peter Griffiny's crotch) Take that!
Lois Griffin: (Kicks Peter Griffin's crotch) Yeah, kick the balls!
Brian Griffin: (Kicks Peter Griffin's crotch) There you go!
Peter Griffin: I now have a vagina.
Lois Griffin: (A car zooms by) What was that?
Stewie Griffin: (Looks at a postcard) Kermit the Frog says they're called, "Beep-Beep-Outta-the-Way-Asshole"! But they're harmless. (The characters try crossing the street)
Kermit the Frog: (Beep beep) Outta the way, asshole!
(The characters continue crossing the road; all the vehicles try to dodge them)
Kermit the Frog: Outta the way, asshole!
(Two of the vehicles crash, setting Chris Griffin on fire, and he screams as he burns to death)
Peter Griffin: D-d-d-d-...death!
Stewie Griffin: (Slaps Peter Griffin) You should've warned us! I'm sure our troubles are all in the past.
At a Stream
(The characters are being chased across the water bv Odie)
Stewie Griffin: Hurry, it's right behind us!
Quagmire Glenn: Hey guys.,. Please kill me... kill me, please-- (The characters beat him to death) Ow! WAIT, WAIT! STOP! OW! I'VE CHANGED MY MIND!
Stewie Griffin: Hang in there! We're almost done! (The characters continue beating him)
Brian Griffin: (The characters are tired and hungry) I can't go on! Just leave me!
Meg Griffin: We need food Stewie, we're starving.
Tom Tucker: I smell radishes! (Tom Tucker leaves and a strange noise is heard; the others go behind the barn and find him being killed in a trap to next to a radish patch)
Stewie Griffin: He was right, look at all the radishes!
Stewie Griffin: Eat up! There's plenty! (The characters begin eating radishes as Stewie shoves a radish into the dying Tom Tucker's mouth to feed him as he rolls over dead)
Stewie Griffin: (The remaining characters cheer) This is it, gang! This is our new home. And now to start repopulating.
Peter Griffin: Wait! I'm getting another vision! I see... I see... THAT I'M GONNA GET MY FREAK ON!!! (Chuckles until a tremor is heard)
Meg Griffin: What is that? (An oil drill appears behind them, and all 5 characters spew out of an oil in the house)
Stewie Griffin: OH, NO! (The characters fall to the ground dead)
Rated M for mature