- Doc as Sonic
- Sprocket as Cheese the Chao
- Exterminator as Tails
- Gobo as Knuckles
- Red as Amy Rose
- Wembley as Charmy Bee
- Mokey as Cream
- Boober as Big the Cat
- Various Fraggles as Robots and Badniks
- Three Dozers as Chris, Uncle Chuck, and Robotnik Jr.
- Driver as King Acorn
- Workers as themselves
[To begin the sketch, Tails is using a long stick to feel inside the large mouse hole at Sonic's workshop.]
Sonic: Well, my Chao is always speaking down that hole, so I figured there's got to be something in there.
Tails: Rats, snakes. Could be any number of reasons to overbill you, but... not to worry. I've got something that should take care of the problem. (throws what looks like a lantern into the hole)
Doc: Uh, will that kill them all?
Tails: Nah, so I'll know where to throw this!
[He throws a grenade into the hole, ducks, and throws himself on top of Cheese to cover both of them up from an explosion. Meanwhile, in Sonic Team Rock, the Sonic characters (along with the Chris, Uncle Chuck, and Robotnik Jr.) are happily singing.]
Sonic Characters: Happy, happy day! Sonic says it's a happy day. Happy, happy day! Nothing could go wrong...
[Suddenly, the grenade falls down into Sonic Team Rock and explodes, causing the place to start collapsing and throwing the Sonic characters off of their feet.]
Robots and Badniks: Help me! FIRE! Oh, my God, my feet!
Knuckles: Holy fish! We've gotta get out of here! Run!
[The place continues to collapse, and the panicking characters run for it until two boulders block the way of some of the characters.]
Robots and Badniks: Oh, look out! Hurry! Hurry!
[Knuckles pops out of a hole and comes out before one more boulder blocks it.]
Knuckles: (in fear) Oh, that's bad!
[The screen flips to Knuckles, Charmy Bee, Amy Rose, Cream, and Big, who are next to an open road and still alive.]
Amy Rose: What are we going to do? We have no home!
Knuckles: (trying to calm down everyone) Hey, hey! Monkey Khan's been sending me postcards from the outer world for years. (shows three postcards, two of which are from Aspen and Ft. Lauderdale with three hedgehogs on them and the last from Philadelphia with three badniks) With their guidance, I'll find us a new Sonic Team Rock!
Charmy Bee: (hysterical) Wait! Stoooop!
Knuckles: What's wrong, Bo?
Charmy Bee: I see a terrible thing coming - fire and death! There's blood everywhere; something very bad is coming!
Knuckles: You know, you need to work on the "pre" part of premonition, bumblebee. (kicks Charmy Bee in the crotch) In your balls!
Vector: (also kicks Knuckles' crotch) Take that!
Amy Rose: (kicks him as he groans in pain) Yeah, kick those balls!
Big the Cat: (also kicks him) There you go!
Charmy Bee: I now have a vagina.
[The Sonic characters walk up to the highway, where an orange van zooms by, confusing Amy Rose.]
Amy Rose: What was that?
Knuckles: (looks at a traffic jam postcard from Detroit) Monkey Khan says they're called: "Beep-Beep-Out-Of-the-Way-Animals"! But they're harmless.
[The Sonic characters start crossing the street, but a cream-colored car zooms by them.]
King Acorn: (honks horn) Out of the way, animals!
[The Sonic characters continue crossing the road; various vehicles, including a school bus, two red cars, a blue one, and a black limo, swerve to dodge them.]
Other Drivers: Out of the way, animals!
[By the time the Sonic characters have made it halfway through, the vehicles start to flip over, so they shield themselves for protection; when Wade remains, two of the vehicles (the limo and one of the red cars) crash, setting him on fire, and he screams loudly and runs in circles as he burns to death. The Sonic characters only watch in shock as this occurs.]
Bo: (stammers) D-d-d-d-...death!
Knuckles: (punches Bo to knock him down) You should have warned us! I'm sure our troubles are all in the past.
[The next flip shows a stream, where the Sonic characters are being chased across the water by Odie (Garfield's pet dog).]
Knuckles: Hurry - he's right behind us!
Charmy Bee: Go, go, go, go, go!
[Heavy gets caught by Cheese, who rapidly shakes him back and forth, hurts him, spits him out, speaks, and leaves.]
Heavy: (gasping for air) Hey, guys, help... please, kill me...kill me, please- (other Sonic characters beat him to death with sticks, making him yell in pain) Wait, wait! Stop! I've changed my mind!
Knuckles: Hang in there; we're almost done!
[The next scene flip is of a farm, where the now hungry and tired Sonic characters crawl to the barn door.]
Big the Cat: I can't go on! Just leave me!
Cream: We need food, Knuckles. We're starving!
Bomb: (with a lisp) I smell radishes!
[He runs off-screen; then a neck-strangling noise is heard, so the other Sonic characters go behind the barn and find him struggling to free himself from a rope trap next to a radish patch.]
Knuckles: He was right. Look at all the radishes!
Sonic characters: Hooray!
Knuckles: Eat up; there's plenty!
[The Sonic characters start eating the radishes as Knuckles shoves one into the dying Bomb's mouth to feed him; then he rolls over, dead, and the screen flips to the underground of the characters' new home.]
Big the Cat: We've made it!
Knuckles: (as the remaining characters cheer) This is it, gang - our new home! And now, let's start repopulating.
Charmy Bee: (suddenly scared again) Wait - I'm getting another vision! (as we zoom up to his eyes) I see... I see... (jumps up onto a rock) that I'm gonna get my freak on!
[He chuckles and dances until a tremor is heard, frightening the Sonic characters.]
Cream: (hugging Amy Rose) What is that?!
[An oil drill appears behind them and they are all spewed out of an oil tower as two workers watch.]
Knuckles: (as the Sonic characters scream) Oh, no!
[The now dead Sonic characters fall to the ground, ending the episode.]