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Casts

  • Doc as Turbo
  • Sprocket as Skidmark
  • Exterminator as Guy Gagne
  • Gobo Fraggle as Chet
  • Red Fraggle as Burn
  • Wembley as Carl
  • Mokey Fraggle as Paz
  • Boober Fraggle as Tito
  • Various Fraggles as Various Snails
  • Three Dozers as Danny, Australian Anchor, and Scottish Anchor
  • Driver as Smoove Move
  • Workers as themselves

Transcript

[To begin the sketch, Guy Gagne is using a long stick to feel inside the large mouse hole at Turbo's workshop.]

Turbo: Well, my snail is always slicking down that hole, so I figured there's got to be something in there.

Guy Gagne: Rats, snakes. Could be any number of reasons to overbill you, but... not to worry. I've got something that should take care of the problem. (throws what looks like a lantern into the hole)

Turbo: Uh, will that kill them all?

Guy Gagne: Nah, so I'll know where to throw this!

[He throws a grenade into the hole, ducks, and throws himself on top of Skidmark to cover both of them up from an explosion. Meanwhile, in Turbo Rock, the other characters (along with Danny, Australian Anchor, and Scottish Anchor) are happily singing.]

Other Characters: Happy, happy day! Turbo says it's a happy day. Happy, happy day! Nothing could go wrong...

[Suddenly, the grenade falls down into Turbo Rock and explodes, causing the place to start collapsing and throwing the other characters off of their feet.]

Various Snails: Help me! FIRE! Oh, my God, my feet!

Chet: Holy snail! We've gotta get out of here! Run!

[The place continues to collapse, and the panicking characters run for it until two boulders block the way of some of the characters.]

Various Snails: Oh, look out! Hurry! Hurry!

[Chet pops out of a hole and comes out before one more boulder blocks it.]

Chet: (in fear) Oh, that's bad!

[The screen flips to Chet, Burn, Carl, Paz, and Tito, who are next to an open road and still alive.]

Burn: What are we going to do? We have no home!

Chet: (trying to calm down everyone) Hey, hey! Spanish DJ's been sending me postcards from the outer world for years. (shows three postcards, two of which are from Aspen and Ft. Lauderdale with three snails on them and the last from Philadelphia with three children) With their guidance, I'll find us a new Turbo Rock!

Carl: (hysterical) Wait! Stoooop!

Chet What's wrong, Carl?

Carl: I see a terrible thing coming - fire and death! There's blood everywhere; something very bad is coming!

Chet: You know, you need to work on the "pre" part of premonition, snail. (kicks Carl in the crotch) In your balls!

White Shadow: (also kicks Chet' crotch) Take that!

Burn: (kicks him as he groans in pain) Yeah, kick those balls!

Tito: (also kicks him) There you go!

Carl: I now have a vagina.

[The other characters walk up to the highway, where an orange van zooms by, confusing Burn.]

Burn: What was that?

Chet: (looks at a traffic jam postcard from Detroit) Spanish DJ says they're called: "Beep-Beep-Out-Of-the-Way-Snails"! But they're harmless.

[The other characters start crossing the street, but a cream-colored car zooms by them.]

Smoove Move: (honks horn) Out of the way, animals!

[The other characters continue crossing the road; various vehicles, including a school bus, two red cars, a blue one, and a black limo, swerve to dodge them.]

Other Drivers: Out of the way, snails!

[By the time the other characters have made it halfway through, the vehicles start to flip over, so they shield themselves for protection; when Wade remains, two of the vehicles (the limo and one of the red cars) crash, setting him on fire, and he screams loudly and runs in circles as he burns to death. The other characters only watch in shock as this occurs.]

Carl: (stammers) D-d-d-d-...death!

Chet: (punches Carl to knock him down) You should have warned us! I'm sure our troubles are all in the past.

[The next flip shows a stream, where the other characters are being chased across the water by Skidmark.]

Chet: Hurry - he's right behind us!

Carl: Go, go, go, go, go!

[Skidmark gets caught by Announcer #1, who rapidly shakes him back and forth, hurts him, spits him out, slicks, and leaves.]

Announcer #1: (gasping for air) Hey, guys, help... please, kill me...kill me, please- (other characters beat him to death with sticks, making him yell in pain) Wait, wait! Stop! I've changed my mind!

Chet: Hang in there; we're almost done!

[The next scene flip is of a farm, where the now hungry and other tired characters crawl to the barn door.]

Tito: I can't go on! Just leave me!

Paz: We need food, Knuckles. We're starving!

Announcer #2: (with a lisp) I smell radishes!

[He runs off-screen; then a neck-strangling noise is heard, so the other characters go behind the barn and find him struggling to free himself from a rope trap next to a radish patch.]

Chet: He was right. Look at all the radishes!

Other characters: Hooray!

Chet: Eat up; there's plenty!

[Other characters start eating the radishes as Chet shoves one into the dying Announcer #2's mouth to feed him; then he rolls over, dead, and the screen flips to the underground of the characters' new home.]

Tito: We've made it!

Chet: (as the remaining characters cheer) This is it, gang - our new home! And now, let's start repopulating.

Carl: (suddenly scared again) Wait - I'm getting another vision! (as we zoom up to his eyes) I see... I see... (jumps up onto a rock) that I'm gonna get my freak on!

[He chuckles and dances until a tremor is heard, frightening other characters.]

Paz: (hugging Burn) What is that?!

[An oil drill appears behind them and they are all spewed out of an oil tower as two workers watch.]

Chet: (as the other characters scream) Oh, no!

[The now dead various characters fall to the ground, ending the episode.]

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