• Jerome "Doc" Crystal as Pooh
  • Sprocket as Lumpy
  • Exterminator as Tigger
  • Gobo Fraggle as Piglet
  • Red Fraggle as Kessie
  • Wembley Fraggle as Roo
  • Mokey Fraggle as Kanga
  • Boober Fraggle as Rabbit
  • Pink Fraggle in Green Shirt as Stan Woozle
  • Green Fraggle in Blue Shirt as Heff Heffalump
  • Purple Fraggle as Wooster
  • Various Fraggles as Bees
  • Three Dozers as Owl, Eeyore, and Dexter
  • Driver as Gopher
  • Workers as themselves


[To begin the sketch, Tigger is using a long stick to feel inside the large mouse hole at Pooh's workshop.]

Pooh: Well, my heffalump is always trumpeting down that hole, so I figured there's got to be something in there.

Tigger: Rats, snakes. Could be any number of reasons to overbill you, but... not to worry. I've got something that should take care of the problem. (throws what looks like a lantern into the hole)

Pooh: Uh, will that kill them all?

Tigger: Nah, so I'll know where to throw this!

[He throws a grenade into the hole, ducks, and throws himself on top of Cheese to cover both of them up from an explosion. Meanwhile, in 100 Acre Wood Rock, Winnie the Pooh characters (along with Owl, Eeyore, and Dexter) are happily singing.]

Winnie the Pooh Characters: Happy, happy day! Pooh Bear says it's a happy day. Happy, happy day! Nothing could go wrong...

[Suddenly, the grenade falls down into 1000 Acre Wood Rock and explodes, causing the place to start collapsing and throwing Winnie the Pooh characters off of their feet.]

Bees: Help me! FIRE! Oh, my God, my feet!

Piglet: Holy cow! We've gotta get out of here! Run!

[The place continues to collapse, and the panicking characters run for it until two boulders block the way of some of the characters.]

Bees: Oh, look out! Hurry! Hurry!

[Piglet pops out of a hole and comes out before one more boulder blocks it.]

Piglet: (in fear) Oh, that's bad!

[The screen flips to Piglet, Charmy Bee, Kessie, Kanga, and Rabbit, who are next to an open road and still alive.]

Kessie: What are we going to do? We have no home!

Piglet: (trying to calm down everyone) Hey, hey! Skippy's been sending me postcards from the outer world for years. (shows three postcards, two of which are from Aspen and Ft. Lauderdale with three bees on them and the last from Philadelphia with three honeypots) With their guidance, I'll find us a new 100 Acre Wood Rock!

Roo: (hysterical) Wait! Stoooop!

Piglet: What's wrong, Roo?

Rpp: I see a terrible thing coming - fire and death! There's blood everywhere; something very bad is coming!

Piglet: You know, you need to work on the "pre" part of premonition, animal. (kicks Roo in the crotch) In your balls!

Stan Woozle: (also kicks Piglet' crotch) Take that!

Kessie: (kicks him as he groans in pain) Yeah, kick those balls!

Rabbit: (also kicks him) There you go!

Roo: I now have a vagina.

[Winnie the Pooh characters walk up to the highway, where an orange van zooms by, confusing Amy Rose.]

Kessie: What was that?

Piglet: (looks at a traffic jam postcard from Detroit) Skippy says they're called: "Beep-Beep-Out-Of-the-Way-Animals"! But they're harmless.

[Winnie the Pooh characters start crossing the street, but a cream-colored car zooms by them.]

Gopher: (honks horn) Out of the way, animals!

[Winnie the Pooh continue crossing the road; various vehicles, including a school bus, two red cars, a blue one, and a black limo, swerve to dodge them.]

Other Drivers: Out of the way, animals!

[By the time, Winnie the Pooh characters have made it halfway through, the vehicles start to flip over, so they shield themselves for protection; when Wade remains, two of the vehicles (the limo and one of the red cars) crash, setting him on fire, and he screams loudly and runs in circles as he burns to death. Winnie the Pooh characters only watch in shock as this occurs.]

Roo: (stammers) D-d-d-d-...death!

Piglet: (punches Roo to knock him down) You should have warned us! I'm sure our troubles are all in the past.

[The next flip shows a stream, where the other characters are being chased across the water by Lumpy (Pooh's friendly heffalump).]

Piglet: Hurry - he's right behind us!

Roo: Go, go, go, go, go!

[Heavy gets caught by Lumpy, who rapidly shakes him back and forth, hurts him, spits him out, trumpets, and leaves.]

Wooster: (gasping for air) Hey, guys, help... please, kill me...kill me, please- (other characters beat him to death with sticks, making him yell in pain) Wait, wait! Stop! I've changed my mind!

Piglet: Hang in there; we're almost done!

[The next scene flip is of a farm, where the now hungry and tired other characters crawl to the barn door.]

Rabbit: I can't go on! Just leave me!

Kanga We need food, Piglet. We're starving!

Stan Woozle: (with a lisp) I smell radishes!

[He runs off-screen; then a neck-strangling noise is heard, so the other characters go behind the barn and find him struggling to free himself from a rope trap next to a radish patch.]

Piglet: He was right. Look at all the radishes!

Winnie the Pooh characters: Hooray!

Piglet: Eat up; there's plenty!

[Winnie the Pooh characters start eating the radishes as Piglet shoves one into the dying Stan's mouth to feed him; then he rolls over, dead, and the screen flips to the underground of the characters' new home.]

Rabbit: We've made it!

Piglet: (as the remaining characters cheer) This is it, gang - our new home! And now, let's start repopulating.

Roo: (suddenly scared again) Wait - I'm getting another vision! (as we zoom up to his eyes) I see... I see... (jumps up onto a rock) that I'm gonna get my friend on!

[He chuckles and dances until a tremor is heard, frightening the Winnie the Pooh characters.]

Kanga: (hugging Kessie) What is that?!

[An oil drill appears behind them and they are all spewed out of an oil tower as two workers watch.]

Piglet: (as Winnie the Pooh characters scream) Oh, no!

[The now dead Winnie the Pooh characters fall to the ground, ending the episode.]