What Would Brad Van Darn Do? is a Cartoon All-Stars spoof to What Would Brian Boitano Do?, a South Park song from Bigger Longer and Uncut, which is is a normally cleaned version composed by Mel Szyslak, Meilin Rae, and Malinda Doe, as they sing a song about Brad Van Darn before Tom and Jerry are executed from Warner Bros. Studios.
- Mel Szyslak as Stan Marsh (Stephanie Morgenstern)
- Meilin Rae as Kyle Broflovski (Nicole Oliver)
- Malinda Doe as Eric Cartman (Jocelyne Loewen)
- Brad Van Darn as Brian Boitano (Marc Thompson)
- Brad Buttowski as Brian Dennehey (Danny Cooksey)
- Eddy as Wendy Testaburger (Tony Sampson)
- Tom Cat as Terrance (Don Brown)
- Jerry Mouse as Phillip (Samuel Vincent)
- (We open this music video with Lexi announcing it)
- Lexi: And now, it's time for South Park songs on Cozi Toons, the part of the show where my friends and I come out and sing a South Park song. Today, Mel, Meilin and Malinda are planning to save Tom and Jerry before they were executed from Warner Bros. Studios.
- Mel: (singing) What would Brad Van Darn If he was here right now, He'd make a plan And he'd follow through, That's what Brad Van Darn do. When Brad Van Darn was in the olympics, Skating for the gold, He did two salchows and a triple lutz While wearing a blind fold. When Brad Van Darn was in the alps, Fighting grizzly bears, He used his magical fire breath, And saved the maidens fair. So what would Brad Van Darn do If he were here today, I'm sure he'd kick a butt or two, That's what Brad Van Darn do. I want this V-chip out of me, It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y. And I just want my mom To stop fighting everyone For Lily I'll be an activist, too, Cos that's what Brad Van Darn would do. And what would Brad Van Darn do, He'd call all the kids in town, And tell them to unite for true That's what Brad Van Darn would do. When Brad Van Darn travelled through time To the year 3010, He fought the evil robot kings and saved the human race again And when Brad Van Darn built the pyramids, He beat up Kublai Khan. Cos Brad Van Darn doesn't take ??? from an-e-y-body So lets all get together, And unite to stop our mom's And we'll save Tom and Jerry too, Cos that's what Brad Van Darn do. And we'll save Tom and Jerry too, Cos that's what Brad Van Darn dooooo, That's what Brad Van Darn do.