- Detective Sgt. Mark Dixon as Stan Marsh
- Morgan Taylor-Paine as Wendy Testaburger
- Tommy Scalise as Eric Cartman
- Detective Sgt. Paul Klein (Dixon's partner) as Kenny McCormick
- Jiggs Taylor as Mr. Mackey
- Detective Lt. Thomas as Chef
- Martha as Sheila Broflovski
- Ken Paine as Mr. Garrison
- Steve as Satan
- Oleg the Fashion Designer as Kyle Broflovksi
- Secretary as Sharon Marsh
- Ernie as Randy Marsh
- Ted Morrison as Curly Goth
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