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Whistles and Sneezes (US, Ringo Starr version) is Pikachufreak's idea.

Description

  • Here's the full Ringo Starr script to Whistles and Sneezes.

Characters

  • Edward
  • Henry
  • Gordon
  • Percy
  • Sir Topham Hatt
  • Thomas (cameo)
  • James (cameo)

Opening Credits

  • THOMAS & FRIENDS
  • Based on The Railway Series by The REV.W.AWDRY
  • Adaptation by BRITT ALLCROFT
  • WHISTLES & SNEEZES
  • Told by RINGO STARR
  • Directed by DAVID MITTON

Transcript

  • Ringo Starr: Gordon was cross.
  • Gordon: Why should Henry have a new shape?
  • Ringo Starr: He grumbled.
  • Gordon: A shape good enough for me is good enough for him. He goes gallivanting off to crewe, leaving us to do his work, and comes back saying how happy he feels. It's disgraceful. And there's another thing: Henry whistles too much. No respectable engine ever whistles loudly at stations. It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it.
  • Ringo Starr: Poor Henry didn't feel happy anymore.
  • Percy: Never mind.
  • Ringo Starr: Whispered Percy.
  • Percy: I'm glad you're home again. I like your whistling.
  • Gordon: Goodbye, Henry.
  • Ringo Starr: Called Gordon.
  • Gordon: We're glad to have you with us again. But remember what I said.
  • Ringo Starr: Later, Henry stopped at Edward's station.
  • Edward: Hello, Henry.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Edward.
  • Edward: You look splendid. I was pleased to hear your happy whistle yesterday.
  • Henry: Thank you, Edward.
  • Ringo Starr: Smiled Henry.
  • Henry: Shh, shh. Can you hear something?
  • Edward: It sounds like Gordon.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Edward.
  • Edward: And it ought to be Gordon. But Gordon never whistles like that.
  • Ringo Starr: It was Gordon. He came rushing down the hill of a tremendous rate. He didn't look at Henry and he didn't look at Edward. He screamed straight through the station and disappeared.
  • Edward: Well.
  • Ringo Starr: Said Edward.
  • Henry: It isn't wrong.
  • Ringo Starr: Chuckled Henry.
  • Henry: But we just don't do it.
  • Ringo Starr: And he told Edward what Gordon had said. Meanwhile, Gordon screeched along the line. The noise was awful. At the station, everyone covered their ears. Sir Topham Hatt covered his ears too.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: Take him away!
  • Ringo Starr: He bellowed.
  • Sir Topham Hatt: And stop that noise!
  • Ringo Starr: Gordon puffed sadly away. But he wouldn't stop whistling until two fitters climbed up and knocked his whistle valve in place. That night, Gordon slunked into the shed. He was glad it was empty.
  • Henry: It isn't wrong.
  • Ringo Starr: Murmured Henry to no one in particular.
  • Henry: But we just don't do it.
  • Ringo Starr: No one mentioned whistles. Next morning, Henry was enjoying himself enormously.
  • Henry: I feel so well, I feel so well.
  • Ringo Starr: He sang.
  • Coaches: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock.
  • Ringo Starr: Hummed his coaches. Then he saw some boys on a bridge.
  • Henry: Peep-peep. Hello.
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled.
  • Henry: Ohh.
  • Ringo Starr: He called. The boys didn't wave and take his number. They thought it fun to drop stones on him instead.
  • Coaches: They've broken our glass, they've broken our glass.
  • Ringo Starr: Sobbed the coaches. The passengers weren't hurt, but they were cross.
  • Passengers: Call the police!
  • Henry's Driver: No.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Henry's Driver: Leave it to Henry and me.
  • Passengers: What will you do?
  • Ringo Starr: They asked.
  • Passengers: Can you keep a secret?
  • Henry: Yes, yes.
  • Henry's Driver: Well then.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Henry's Driver: Henry is going to sneeze at those boys.
  • Ringo Starr: Lots of people were at the station just before the bridge. They wanted to see what would happen.
  • Henry's Driver: Henry has plenty of ashes.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the driver.
  • Henry's Driver: Please keep all windows shut until we've passed the bridge. Henry's is excited as we are. Aren't you, old fellow?
  • Ringo Starr: Henry felt more stuffed up. Soon, they could see the boys. And they all had stones.
  • Henry's Driver: Are you ready, Henry?
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
  • Henry's Driver: Sneeze hard when I tell you. Now.
  • Ringo Starr: He said.
  • Henry: Ah-choo, shoo.
  • (Henry sneezes at the boys and they were covered in ashes)
  • Henry's Driver: Well done, Henry.
  • Ringo Starr: Laughed his driver. Henry went home, hoping that next time he saw Gordon and the boys, they would have learned not to be so mean.

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