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Parody Cast Members

  • Gonzo as Scrooge McDuck
  • Fozzie Bear as Huey Duck
  • Kermit the Frog as Mickey Mouse
  • Miss Piggy as Minnie Mouse
  • Scooter as Donald Duck
  • Hooded Killer as Pete
  • Dr. Bunsen Honeydew as Dewey Duck
  • Beaker as Louie Duck
  • Rowlf the Dog as Horace Horsecollar
  • Dr. Teeth as Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
  • Lew Zealand as Pluto
  • Swedish Chef as Figaro
  • Animal as Max Goof
  • Steve Martin as Jiminy Cricket
  • Camilla the Chicken as Clarice
  • Statler as Chip
  • Waldorf as Dale
  • Penguins as Beagle Boys
  • Skeeter as Daisy Duck

Transcript

Scrooge McDuck: "For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining where the heck I am!"

Pete: "No!" "For your next feat, you die!" (Pete fires a cannon, decapitating Scrooge McDuck, and Scrooge's headless corpse falls on the hot coals. Then Pete throws a deflated kiddie pool onto the coals.)

(Scene cuts to Scrooge McDuck's funeral and burial ceremony)

Mickey Mouse: "Uncle Scrooge died as he lived, and our gang will never be whole again. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Jiminy Cricket, yaaaaaayyy!

Jiminy Cricket: (With a prank arrow hat on his head) "The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want, he makes me like-"

Minnie Mouse: (interrupting) "Oh, are we burying him in a Toontown?" 

(Clarice panis and jumps on Scrooge McDuck's casket as it gets lowered into the ground)

Huey Duck: "You know, the last time an old duck died was-"

Jiminy Cricket: (interrupting): "Excuse me?"

Huey Duck: Don’t you mean, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me"?

Jiminy Cricket: No, this is a funeral. I am working. Do I come to where you work and knock those words outta your mouth?!?"

Mickey Mouse: "Wow, Jiminy Cricket's working blue, but he’s right, we vowed never to talk about... that night.

(The characters turn to look at Donald Duck who is actually his girlfriend Daisy Duck in disguise, who has risen from the grave. Daisy Duck waves at them.)

(Scene cuts to Huey Duck practicing for a performance)

Huey Duck: And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats!" Wocka-wocka!

Pete: Hey, Huey, Why did the duck turn red?

Huey Duck: I don’t know, stranger.

Pete: Because he was embarrassed!

Huey Duck: (Sarcasticly claps) Wocka-wocka...

Pete: Then how about this?! Because I'm trying to STAB YOU! (Pete stabs Huey Duck in the neck and then in the back with a knife. Huey Duck stumbles weakly onstage.)

Huey Duck: What a show stopper. Ooohh! (Falls on stage)

Chip: See? I told you the duck was gonna die on stage tonight.

(Chip and Dale laugh)

Huey: Hey guys, can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance?

Dale: You're an ambulance!

(Chip and Dale laugh again)

(Huey Duck is dragged offscreen and murdered.)

(Red wagon is rolled out on stage.)

Mickey Mouse: First Scrooge, now Huey. Could we be paying the price for what we did to...

Minnie Mouse: Don’t say that name, Mickey.

Mickey Mouse: Oh, Minnie's telling me what to do, wow, hey, everybody! Come here! You gotta come see this. Minnie's telling me what to do."

(Donald Duck carries a box of props.)

Mickey Mouse: "Oh hey, uh, Donald?"

Donald Duck: "Oh! hey there, Mickey. "

Mickey Mouse: We need to talk about Daisy's death.

Donald Duck: Why, sure. I love talking about my girlfriend, if not for that tragic accident.

Mickey Mouse: You know, I’m gonna stop you right there. I got something I gotta tell you.

(Flashback to Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Mortimer, Huey, Horace and Daisy playing near a swimming pool.)

Mickey Mouse: Let’s play The Little Mermaid!

Huey Duck: Let’s question Mickey's sexuality.

Horace: Hold on! Let me grab my floaties.

Daisy: What a nerd.

Minnie Mouse: Ahem. I will play "La Petite Mermaid".

Daisy Duck: Mermaids aren’t fat! (Smack!)

Mickey Mouse: Yikes! Daisy Duck, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away.

(Daisy smacks Mickey)

Huey: Ortensia! Daisy's hitting us again!

Mickey Mouse: Yeah, who's the homo now?

(Mortimer beats up Daisy; Daisy gets hit by Mickey, using a wagon and knocked into the pool.)

Mortimer: If we do this thing, it’s our secret forever.

(All the friends agree and drown Daisy in the pool.)

All the Mickey Mouse parody characters: Ortensia!

Donald Duck: You killed my girlfriend?!?

Mickey Mouse: "It was 60% self-defense. But we're kind of burying the lead here. We think Daisy Duck has come back from the grave for revenge!

Donald Duck: Oh, Daisy will have his revenge…

(Donald Duck dresses like Daisy, and Mickey and Minnie scream in fear.)

Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Donald Duck/Daisy Duck: (attacks Mickey Mouse) 15 seconds 'til your death!

Minnie Mouse: HIIII-YAH! (Jumps to kick him, but misses) Wuh!

Donald Duck/Daisy Duck: Here it comes! Showtime!

(Clarice exclaims in anger, holding a bow and arrow.)

(Subtitle: "Get away from her, you evil duck!")

Donald Duck/Daisy Duck: You can’t shoot me! Chipmunks don’t even have shooting skills!

(Clarice fires an arrow, stabbing Donald Duck/Daisy Duck in the head.)

Donald Duck/Daisy Duck: Yeow!

Jiminy Cricket (chuckling): That bit never gets old. 

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