Parody Cast Members
- Gonzo as Whiplash
- Fozzie Bear as Tito Lopez
- Kermit the Frog as Turbo
- Miss Piggy as Burn
- Scooter as Bobby
- Hooded Killer as Guy Gagne
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydew as Skidmark
- Beaker as Angelo Lopez
- Rowlf the Dog as Tour Bus Driver
- Dr. Teeth as Smoove Move
- Lew Zealand as Pluto
- Swedish Chef as Figaro
- Animal as Max Goof
- Steve Martin as Kim-Ly
- Camilla the Chicken as Paz
- Statler as Scottish Anchor
- Waldorf as Australian Anchor
- Penguins as Announcer #1 and Announcer #2
- Skeeter as Thora
Whiplash: "For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining where the heck I am!"
Guy Gagne: "No!" "For your next feat, you die!"
(At Whiplash's funeral and burial ceremony)
Turbo: "Whiplash died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Kim-Ly, yahooooooooo!
Kim-Ly: The lord is my Sheppard, I shall not want. He makes me like..
Burn: (interrupting) "Oh, are we burying him in the city?"
(Paz panics and jumps on the casket.)
Tito Lopez: "You know, the last time an ACME Acres resident died was--
Kim-Ly: (interrupting): Excuse me?
Tito Lopez: Don’t you mean, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me"?
Kim-Ly: No, this is a funeral. I’m working. Do I come to where you work and knock the words outta your mouth?!
Turbo: Wow, Kim-Ly's working blue, but he’s right, we vowed never to talk about... that night.
(The good friends turn to look at Bobby.)
Tito Lopez: And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats!" Wocka-wocka!
Guy Gagne: Hey, Tito, Why did the guy turn red?
Tito Lopez: I don’t know, stranger.
Guy Gagne: Because he was embarrassed!
Tito Lopez: (Sarcasticly claps) Wocka-wocka.
Guy Gagne: Then how about this?! Because I'm about to stab you!
(Guy Gagne stabs Tito Lopez in Neck and then Back)
Tito Lopez: What a show stopper.
(Falls on stage)
Scottish Anchor: See? I told you the man was gonna die on stage tonight.
(Scottish Anchor and Australian Anchor laugh)
Tito Lopez: Hey guys, can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance?
Australian Anchor: You're an ambulance!
(Scottish Anchor and Australian Anchor laugh again)
(Tito Lopez is dragged offscreen and murdered.)
(Red wagon is rolled out on stage.)
Turbo: First Whiplash, now Tito. Could we be paying the price for what we did to...
Burn: Don’t say that name, Turbo.
Turbo: Oh, Burn is telling me what to do, wow, hey, everybody! Come here! You gotta come see this. Bs is telling me what to do! Wow, must be a day that ends in the letters O and W!
(Bobby carries a box of props.)
Turbo: "Oh hey, uh, Bobby?"
Bobby: "Oh! hey dere, Turbo.
Turbo: We need to talk about Thora's death.
Bobby: Why, sure. I love talkin' about my brother, if not fo' dat tragic accident.
Turbo: You know, I’m gonna stop you right there. I got something I gotta tell you.
(Flashback to Turbo, Burn, Bobby, Smoove Moove Tito Lopez, Thora and Tour Bus Driver playing near a swimming pool.)
Turbo: Let’s play The Little Mermaid!
Tito Lopez: Let’s question Turbo’s sensuality. Wocka wocka!
Tour Bus Driver: Hold on! Let me grab my floaties.
Thora: What a nerd.
Burn: Ahem. I will play "La Petite Mermaid".
Thora: Mermaids aren’t fat! (Smack!)
Turbo: Yikes! Thora, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away.
(Thora smacks Turbo)
Tito Lopez: White Shadow! Thora is hitting us again!
Turbo: Yeah, who's the homo now?
(Smoove Move beats up Thora; Thora gets hit by Turbo, using a wagon and knocked into the pool.)
Turbo: If we do this thing, it’s our secret forever.
(All the friends agree and drown Thora in the pool.)
All the friends parody characters: White Shadow!
Bobby: You killed my brother?!?
Turbo: "It was 60% self-defense. But we're kind of burying the lead here. We think Thora has come back from the grave for revenge!
Bobby: Oh, Thora will have his revenge…
(Bobby dresses like Thora, and Turbo and Burn scream in fear.)
Turbo and Burn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Bobby/Thora: (attacks Turbo) 15 seconds 'til your death!
Burn: HIIII-YAH! (Jumps to kick him, but misses) Wuh!
Bobby/Thora: Here it comes! Showtime!
(Paz exclaims in anger, holding a bow and arrow.)
(Subtitle: "Get away from her, you evil praying mantis!")
Bobby/Thora: You can’t shoot me! Humans don’t even have shooting skills!
(Paz fires an arrow, stabbing Bobby/Thora in the head.)
Kim-Ly (chuckling): That bit never gets old.