Woolly Bear is the twenty-fifth episode of the second season of RS Mr. Conductor the Conductor and Friends, and the fifty-first episode overall. It is a parody of the Thomas and Friends episode of the same name.
- RS Mr. Conductor (from Shining Time Station) as Thomas
- Bart (from The Simpsons) as Percy
- Grandpa Dave (from Arthur) as Toby (does not speak)
- Patty (from The Simpsons) as Annie (cameo)
- Selma (from The Simpsons) as Clarabel (cameo)
- Lazy Luke (from Wacky Races) as Jem Cole (cameo)
- Mayor Adam West (from Family Guy) as Sir Topham Hatt (mentioned)
- Everyone else as Themselves
Narrator: "In summer, the gangers cut the long grass along the road, raking it up for heaps to dry in the sun.
At this time of year, Bart stops where they have been cutting. The men give them to the goombas, and he takes them to the station.
Grandpa Dave then takes them to the hills for the farmers to feed their stock."
Narrator: "Bart gave a ghostly whistle."
Bart: "Don't be frightened, RS Mr. Conductor!"
Narrator: "He laughed."
Bart: "It's only me!"
RS Mr. Conductor: "Your ugly fizz is enough to frighten anyone!"
Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."
RS Mr. Conductor: "You're like..."
Bart: "Ugly, indeed! I'm..."
RS Mr. Conductor: "A red caterpillar with blue shorts!"
Narrator: "Continued RS Mr. Conductor firmly."
RS Mr. Conductor: "You crawl like one, too."
Bart: "I don't!"
RS Mr. Conductor: "Who's been late every afternoon this week?"
Bart: "It's the hay!"
RS Mr. Conductor: "I can't help that."
Narrator: "Said RS Mr. Conductor."
RS Mr. Conductor: "Time's time, and Mayor Adam West relies on me to keep it! I can't if you crawl about in the hay till' all hours!"
Bart: "'Red caterpillar' indeed!"
Narrator: "Fumed Bart. He set off to collect some hay to take to the harbor."
Bart: "Everyone says I'm handsome, or at least nearly everyone. Anyway, my shorts ares better than RS Mr. Conductor's hats. RS Mr. Conductor says I'm always late."
Narrator: "He grumbled."
Bart: "I'm never late, or at least only a few minutes. What's that to RS Mr. Conductor? He can always catch up time further on."
Narrator: "All the same, he and his driver decided to start home early.
Then came trouble."
"A crate of treacle was upset all over Bart.
Bart was cross.
He was still sticky when he puffed away.
The wind was blowing fiercely."
Bart's Driver: "Look at that!"
Narrator: "Exclaimed the driver.
The wind caught the piled hay, tossing it up and over the road. The line climbed here."
Bart's Driver: "Take a run at it, Bart!"
Narrator: "His driver replied.
Bart gathered speed. But the hay made the road slippery, and his feet wouldn't grip. Time after time, he stalled with spinning feet and had to wait till' the path ahead was cleared before he could start again.
Everyone was waiting. RS Mr. Conductor seethed impatiently."
RS Mr. Conductor: "Ten minutes late! I warned him! Passengers will complain, and Mayor West..."
Narrator: "Then, they all saw Bart. They laughed and shouted."
Bart: "Sorry I'm late!"
Narrator: "Bart panted."
RS Mr. Conductor: "Look what's crawled out of the hay!"
Narrator: "Teased RS Mr. Conductor."
Bart: "What's wrong?"
Narrator: "Asked Bart."
RS Mr. Conductor: "Talk about hairy caterpillars!"
Narrator: "Puffed RS Mr. Conductor."
RS Mr. Conductor: "It's worth being late to have seen you."
Narrator: "When Bart came home, his driver showed him what he looked like in a mirror."
Bart: "Ay caramba! No wonder they all laughed. I'm just like a woolly bear! Please clean me before Grandpa Dave comes."
Narrator: "But it was no good. RS Mr. Conductor told Grandpa Dave all about it.
Instead of talking about sensible things like 'playing ghosts', RS Mr. Conductor and Grandpa Dave made jokes about woolly bear caterpillars, and other creatures which crawl about in hay. They laughed a lot, but Bart thought they were being really silly indeed."