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You Can't Win - Ringo Starr (US) is a fan-fiction thing to make. It was created by SuperMalechi.

Opening Credits

  • THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE & FRIENDS
  • Based on The Railway Series by The REV.W.AWDRY
  • YOU CAN'T WIN
  • Told by RINGO STARR
  • Directed by DAVID MITTON

Transcript

  • Ringo Starr: Duke is the hero of all the engines. This is a story about him. It happened long ago when Peter Sam was called Stuart and Sir Handel Falcon. Many people came year after year to see the mountains and the lakes and most of all, Duke. He always pulled his train, even on days when he didn't feel well.
  • Duke: I mustn't disappoint my friends.
  • Ringo Starr: He would say. Every morning he took his passengers up the line and stops everywhere they want him.
  • Duke: Peep peep!
  • Ringo Starr: He whistled.
  • Duke: Please be ready when I come back to you. Otherwise we might miss your boat to the mainland and that would never do.
  • Ringo Starr: One day, Duke didn't feel well. He was short of steam and needed to rest. His driver and fireman had just finish clearing his tubes when Stuart bustled in.
  • Stuart: Hello, Granpuff!
  • Ringo Starr: He teased.
  • Stuart: Are you short of puff?
  • Duke: Nothing of the sort. This is routine maintenance.
  • Stuart: Tell you what.
  • Ringo Starr: Went on Stuart.
  • Stuart: You're getting old. We must take care of you in case you breakdown.
  • Duke: Pooh!
  • Ringo Starr: Hooshed Duke.
  • Duke: That'll be the day.
  • Ringo Starr: Duke couldn't stay cross for long. It was a lovely evening.
  • Duke: Couldn't be better! Couldn't be better!
  • Ringo Starr: He trundled happily. They began to climb, but Duke didn't mind.
  • Duke: I've plenty of steam.
  • Ringo Starr: He puffed.
  • Duke: We'll be up in the couple of puffs.
  • Ringo Starr: But soon, Duke's puffs changed to wheezes. He vows were leaking steam.
  • Duke: It's not so easy, it's not so easy.
  • Ringo Starr: He croaked.
  • Duke: But I'll manage.
  • Ringo Starr: At last they reached the station. Duke's driver was examine him carefully. Anxious passengers waited for news.
  • Conductor: Duke is going to take you to the harbour, but he might be late.
  • Ringo Starr: Said the conductor.
  • Conductor: So two engines are coming to help. You'll still catch your boat.
  • Ringo Starr: Falcon buffered up in front.
  • Falcon: Poor old Granpuff. What a shame you broken down.
  • Stuart: Peep peep peep!
  • Ringo Starr: Teased Stuart.
  • Stuart: This is the day!
  • Ringo Starr: He was coupled on behind.
  • Falcon: Are you ready?
  • Ringo Starr: Whistled Falcon.
  • Stuart: Yes I am!
  • Ringo Starr: Replied Stuart and away they went. When the reach the next station, the cavalcade split up. Falcon took Duke's passengers to the boat. Stuart headed Falcon's train with Duke coupled behind.
  • Stuart: Fancy me rescuing Granpuff! This is the day! This is the day!
  • Ringo Starr: He boasted.
  • Stuart: Poor old engine! Poor old engine!
  • Ringo Starr: But Duke still have plenty of steam left at him. His vows sounded worse when they were. He and his driver had their own little joke ready. They waited until they reached the hill.
  • Driver: Now!
  • Ringo Starr: Said his driver. Duke puffed and roared though he was pushing a whole trains' weight before him. The noise echoed everywhere. When they reach the last station, everyone cheered.
  • Boy: What happened?
  • Ringo Starr: Asked the boy.
  • Boy: They don't usually need two engines.
  • Father: Well.
  • Ringo Starr: Replied his father.
  • Father: Stuart broke down. Duke had to help him. It sounds as if he had a hard job too.
  • Ringo Starr: Duke and his drivers' joke had worked.
  • Stuart: Fiddlesticks!
  • Ringo Starr: Explained Stuart and he vanished in a cloud of steam. Duke wheezed alongside.
  • Duke: Poor old engine!
  • Ringo Starr: He teased.
  • Duke: It's no good, Stuart. You can't win.

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